Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? On the verge of piecing......a new beginning

Just make sure they are equal and you're sorted! the next stage, plaiting...

I can't believe you were set up by your MIL! Ah, and also sweet you lost your voice. That is funny

She said she was impressed that I tried to talk a bunch anyways...she felt bad for me and made me a cup of tea.

tdad, would she like to take classes, even go back to school? to update herself or for a new career?

Women are like waves, there is a time (trust me, it happens to me every month and a half) when we "reach rock bottom" when all our emotions come out and we are very melancholic, when we feel down low, it's an "emotional purging" of some sort, she could be going through that.

Hang in there, piecing is one step forward 2 steps back.

Thanks Cat,

I had asked her about classes in the past. She has talked about opening an upper scale bar or a wedding event business. I have tried to help her with the business plans (helping gathering information, helping her write it when she feels like it). She shows an interest in it one day and talks about them frequently but doesn't do anything to make it happen. I don't push her aside from offering support when she seems like she is intersted in doing something.

I might bring up the classes again. She just has a HS diploma but is very smart and very business oriented. I think one of the issues she is dealing with is for a number of years she made some very good money...to the point where we never had to worry about anything...if we wanted it we went out and got it. Of course that had a big impact on our R due to the stress of the job. For a long time now she has been burnt out.

That has changed dramatically now. We have downsized our house and we are now in a sitch where she doesn't have to work if she doesn't want to....it would be very tight but it is doable. She will always want to work....it is just in her nature. I think she is having a hard time dealing with the fact that the care free days are over. It is not a big deal to me aside from how it has affected her, but for a long time it was how she defined herself. Almost like a love/hate relationship.....she loved the money, she hated the toll it took on her, she loves the idea of a new business, but hates the idea that her lifestyle is going to go away.

I hope this is temporary for her, she has had waves of this in the past. She would come home saying she wanted to quit her job and two weeks later she was loving it.

Hey,

How are things going with you? How was the pageant? Did your d's hair look ok?

Ok, now the important questions are over with how is the piecing going?

Julia,

Thanks for asking. The pageant went well. My W ended up staying home and I didn't have to babysit her friends boy. We had a good weekend. My D got 1st runner up in her age group, and my S won his (ok...he was the noly one again). Overall this pageant was pretty frustrating (started 1-1/2 hours late and poorly run). The kids had fun which was great. The pageant was a little disturbing....it was a swimsuit pageant and there were Mom's putting "spray-on" tan on their 4 yr old daughters and some of those 5 and 6 looked like they had the make-up on of a 20 yr old. We were proud that neither one of ours was like that.

Satruday morning we went and purchased new appliances for the house, only to have one of her friends call and say there was someone who might be intreested in buying the house and was going to look at it on Tuesday...it would be nice just to have a steady place to live...lol. Sunday we went to "party" at her aunts house and they had a swimming pool so that was a lot of fun.

The piecing seems to be going pretty good. The buying new appliances was a good thing for that (kind of like nesting). I do find myself looking for negatives that are not necessarily there, but at least I am able to keep them to myself and not let them show on the outside...only to find out my mind was playing tricks with me anyways. Ex. Normally on Sunday we have "wine night" which consists of bath, wine, massage, ML. Last night we had all except the ML (ok...so I am a male pig...lol). She said she was feeling sick and I thought she was just coming up with an excuse...never came out and said anything....then I started to feel nausious in the middle of the night. We eneded up joking about it in the middle of the night. There was a little baby at the pool party that really brought on the baby fever. This week ought to be pretty busy...my kids turn 3 on Saturday!

Overall a very good weekend. We need to start workign on your "work around the house week-end"

I always find it slightly disturbing when I see kids made up like that. Kids should be kids IMO. I'm so pleased your kids did well and had a great time.

That all sounds really positive, the nesting thing is good. Building your home again together is a really good sign. Actually it made me remember something about my sitch - do you mind me digressing on your thread?? About 3 weeks before my h left we bought a new car together, financed it together and everything. That doesn't sound to me like him leaving was planned or anything. Most strange... anyway strange seems to be the theme of my situation (sigh).

Sorry you were ill, hope it's all gone now.

PLease hang out in my thread anytime you want. I think most of these threads can be pretty confusing, probably because our spouses were confused and we didn't know it. Perhaps they do stuff like this "hoping" it will make them feel different or expecting it to be some magical cure for feeling the way they do.

Since you have a car...sounds like you need to learn to drive it!

I am feeling much better...thanks

Yeah, it was the plan when we bought it that I would finish learning on it. H taught me before and he was an amazing teacher. He took it to London with him though and has never offered me any use of it. In fact he solely pays for it now, even though I offered when splitting the finances so I don't really have a claim.