Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Still chuggin along

Well I see my good buddy Jack Hammer has already "brought wood" so I'll be gentle..

Yes, it was a backslide..but backslides are backslides..just try to recover. Best way to recover is just "be still" for a bit and observe.



You really need to be quite the rest of the week..just be still and see what happens. You really don't need another backslide.



This is an excellent plan..

Ted, this second phone call was handled really well. You did a good job..keep it up.

Ted,

Just logged on and I'm sorry to see what happened. I think the others have covered it well. Only thing to add, is that I think that second call was to see where you are at. My W does it all the time. Think she was trying to gauge where your thoughts are because she is a bit worried about what she is doing. Good job on the second call.

I'll check in again tomorrow.

Hi Ted,

Just caught up with your posts. But what note did you find? Couldn't find the post on what the note said.

I'm really sorry she's going back and forth like this.

It seems when she's not sure that she has you she starts pursuing. Then when she thinks she does she is playing both sides of the fence.

Tink

Ted,

How are you? Haven't seen anything from you today. Hope everything is going well.

Hey tink how are you? As for the note it said "Hey lets meet in room 208 for a GREAT time, Your on call whore, your beck and call whore, rsvp you know the number" That was for a Marriott Hotel on an exclusive Golf Course and there was a charge on our card for that same hotel! When I approached the W about it(huge mistake) she said it was a running joke in th office...my a$$!

I feel you are correct on your observation. When we do something together and get close then she pulls away and does something stupid. Then when we dont get along so well she calls, like last night she called after I had approached her about the Cali trip and the note. We talked for 1 1/2 about us and what went wrong. She cried a bit and apologized for hurting me and such. She never would admit to being with someone but all the evidence says yes. One thing that was odd, or maybe not, was she asked me if there were any hot girls there at the bar. I told her there were some good looking ones, but that I have been spoiled for 13 years and nothing could stack up to her. So she asked more questions and I told her I went to the bar on Sat. with the intention of trying to get a woman, not to bring home but just to see if I could do it. I literally became sick to my stomach at the thought and went home!! She became very angry and said that I was a hot guy and that I should just go and f%#k one of them bimbos. I told her time and time again that I was not interested in that and won't be for some while, but I could tell it hit a nerve with her. Will update more as I remember but everything has been intense as of lately.

AD sorry bro have been a little busy with writing papers for school and then work! Will catch up on your sitch now.

Thx for stopping by, and tink don't be a stranger, hopefully you got your pc fixed...if not I will come fix the darn thing for ya or just build you a new one!!!


Stay strong


Ted

LOL Well I have a friend who is coming over today or next week so hopefully soon! Thanks

Here are a few thoughts. Regarding her obsession with trying to get you to think of "bimbos" etc it's to alleviate her own guilt. Because it's like when someone does drugs and thinks there is nothing wrong with it--or tries to convince themselves--that it's hip and they are in the know, they try to get someone who doesn't do drugs to do it beccause it THEY did it then see it really isn't that bad and in fact is cool and sophisticated.

When I was boyfriend/girlfriend with my fiance, I was moving faster commitment-wise than he was mostly because he just got divorced two years before we met and hadn't dated anyone yet, and partly becaues of my own commitment issues at the time--it's easier to focus on whether someone wants to marry you than actually be in the relationship and do the relationship.

Anyway it all worked out. But at one point back then, I told him I was going to start dating other people since he didn't know what he wanted, and he said to me "If you do, it's going to change the way I feel about you."

That really affected me because I wanted to bring him closer and want to marry me, not turn him off.

I'm not sure now if I'm digressing or if this is connected to your situation...there's a meaning in here somewhere.

Tink

Hi (more)

So as far as doing more of what works it seems like you get the best results when she is not sure if she still has you. I wonder what would happen if you do a 180 while on her trip.

I wonder if she would continue having a great time, or freak out that you are now wanting a divorce.

See what Bworl and others think about it.

Tink

Well it has been 2 full days of no contact with the W. This is some sort of record for me, one that I hate but it is what it is. It is hard as heck not to just pick up the phone to just see how she is doing

I still can not get the whole OM out of my head, I have been writing a journal of my feelings and that helps for a while but then it comes back again.

Tomorrow is spposedly the big day where she goes to meet with the L and I am nervous as heck. I am getting ready to go to the gym and take my frsrations out on the weights, and planned a full day of paintball for sunday where I plan to punish those who stand in my way!!! Hopefully all this will help some of the pain!


stay strong


Ted

Very good Ted, Stay busy. It will help you detach. Don't contact her. If she needs you bad enough she will call. Hang in there, you're going to be OK.