(((HUGS))) lwb. am so sorry to find you here my friend, but am sure you will find the peace that this board helped me find when we were moving toward divorce.
good luck tomorrow with your appt. know that I will be thinking of you while you are there. I know this is NOT what you want, but I also know in my heart you will be okay. better than okay, you will continue to be the warm, graceful, strong woman I have gotten to know. too bad your h is too big a fool to see it.
mwah!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
welcome lwb, lots of good people here with good advice.
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
Your "bar" looks pretty nice, well furnished. And I see you've got some of our old friends showing up to greet you. Hello, Sally/Morgan. Hello, Hope. Hello again, Tal. Hi, Kat. Hi, Olive. Howdy, Lodo. It's heart-warming to see all of you.
I see you've met some of our new friends too. Hi ya', Bethie, Hello, Princess. Nice to meet you, Trip.
Like I said over in my new thread, please treat Lwb right; she's a special lady.
my stbx is also in law enforcement, and I think that helped some, the kids were usually with me and were used to not seeing him, so it wasn't as if he was w/them after a 9-5 job. Your little girls are pretty young, my d5 didnt' really understand nor got too upset, they might not understand yet, d5 still draws family picts with all 4 of us, and I let her. I keep telling her how we are a family, there is 4 in the house, her, s10 me and Jesus, that we are never alone. Of course all kids are different, mine doesn't miss her dad, she's used to be with me more. Glad to hear he will collaborate with the schedule, if he at least continues to be a decent dad the girls will do fine notwithstanding the present sitch.
I too refinanced, hope you get a good rate)))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
My turn to find YOU! I think I'm on the lag plan.. have been separated since February, but only moved down to Separated a week or so ago, right when the divorce process started ramping up. I'm a little slow on the uptake!
Thanks L and Gypsy!!! I don't know what 'switched' in me (to move here), but it just felt like time.
cat, one time a few weeks ago I had a reply ready for your thread, and I lost it. I was at work, got distracted and never posted it. lol I saw that your H watched your kiddos in your home. That is our situation as well. Hard for space, huh? I am refinancing the home in my name in a couple of weeks, so I am going to set some new boundaries, but don't want H to feel totally uncomfortable in the house either. UGH
Journaling:
Round 2 went SO well. Mediator is amazing. Does her job to a "T". She even made H leave the room when I needed the bathroom because we aren't allowed to be alone with her. She is great. We waded through a ton of stuff today and it felt good that H and I agree on so much. I think this mediator thinks we are crazy to get divorced since we get along so well.
Went from the mediator to my mortgage guy. He is a friend of H's, so we went to lunch and H joined us. I will be refinancing very soon. H went on and on with our guy about me at lunch "LWB is wonderful, best thing that happened to me, I f'ed up, dumped her. I want her happy and able to sleep at night and not worry about money". H is crazy. lol He is using some of his house equity to pay off my car, our credit card, and D4's schooling until Kindergarten (then its free!). He loves me, just has to end our marriage for whatever reason.
On the way home, he asked me to take off work and go to dinner and gambling with him tomorrow night. Crazy man, for sure.
All in all a good, very good day. A year ago, I would have been a bawling mess, and H would have been a ball of anger. SO glad H forced us to wait things out (he wouldn't move out, he wouldn't talk official "D" until things calmed with us) a bit. We are both in such a great place to co-parent. Sigh, the kids.....still hurts to think about that, for sure.
