phew! I thought only loosers had my same bday, lol! tx girls I guess my siblings will take me out, a friend also will take me out on friday, not looking forward to cake since I gained 4lbs! argh!!! guess I have to lay off the cherry pies with ice cream at McD's
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Cat, welcome to Surviving! I like to think of the Surviving thread as the DB version of Escape From New York, we kind of make our own rules here (until the mods kick our butts from time to time...not saying that has ever happened). I think surviving is also a time of relief and celebration, if that makes sense. We've all come through such emotionally and physically draining times and we've SURVIVED. This is a time for each of us to take stock, look to the future and give thanks for having made it this far. I used to work with Cancer patients,for a short while, and I was always stunned by the positive and hopeful attitudes these people seemed to have. I realized one day that if they didn't adopt that attitude they'd curl up and die, there was no upside in holding onto anger, depression, negativity and worry. They knew what they had to do to survive and they were gonna do it! It was quite inspiring to see. In many ways, we are in similar emotional situations where if we don't see the cup as half full rather than half empty we will stumble and maybe never get up. So that's my take on Surviving, enjoy the party but remember, you can't be Kurt Russell! Have a great BD and keep on smilin' Btw, don't believe any of that stuff going around about Tom dating a dead woman's ashes...it was a one night stand and everyone knows it! Such gossips
Cat- Nice thread name! Way to go! That's right, we are here to live. I know what you mean about wondering whether to find comfort here or not. I was originally in Newcomers, then Separated, then Piecing, now I'm here in Surviving D ;-, But, I've found too, that everyone is equally supportive no matter where you are on DB.
I hope you have a good birthday tomorrow too!
Me 40 H 39 2nd M- 6 months No kids Previous D, 1st M DBer from 2003
great post Cat! very inspirational! You sound awsome!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
thank you my friends)))))))))) i'm nice and bloated now, lol, my sis and brother and their Ss and babies took me out for lunch, aahhhhhhh! I'm so full! my sweet brother gave me a laptop! he can put one together (sells them on ebay) and I know he's tight on money what with the new baby and his W out of work, and he gives me a puter!! yeeehaa! wireless internet, here I come! he he. I love them so, I totally forgot how awful I was feeling last night.
Ok, I just have to mention it, I found out that the trip stbx took when I discovered the A last year wasnt' with his coworkers, it was with ow, the trip we paid for, I even pressed the suit he was going to wear there, he had booked the trip a day after the ow contacted him that year, when the PA began again. The entire time we'd go to MC he'd said it was for time alone to think, BLEAh! freaking liar. Turns out it was to go with ow to a wedding. At least he didnt' go all care free, he knew the gig was up. I guess my C was right on the spot, when after a few MC sessions of him stalling and not wanting to work on the M the MC said "so why are you with her? is the rent cheap?"
Yup, the rent was cheap, the spineless liar had been with ow all along, only on break.
ANYways.... I was angry enough to call him, call her, anything. But in the morning I prayed, and prayed hard, for God to give me forgiveness to pass on to him, for me to heal from this new revelation. And honestly, I did this to myself, I ...um... last night I snooped into the room where he brought back his things to then take them to the place he bought. And so, I'm cured 100% from snooping. Honestly, it never did dawned on me that the satisfaction of having found "something" about him and ow that I didn't know before would turn into infuriating hurt a few secs. after.
He's talking to me fine and telling me all the stuff he's doing for the kids' room, not boasting, but that's the way he is, he goes head over heals over a project and goes on an on.. and I can't be too happy about it, sure, it's for the kids, but it's for the room they'll be in while they are away from me. It's hard for me to figure out how to act, I do care but again it tugs at me the wrong way too, kwim?
Overall, I'm having a good bday after the original fiasco of last night, I made my d5 sing me happy bday and I loved seeing my family over lunch, and love seeing your lovely msgs))))))))))) big smooches to all, my online family
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Gah, I'm sorry for the muck that snooping can stir up. I know I've done plenty of that myself, and it never feels good after that initial 'gotcha' moment.
I love that you're always looking for the positives, and I absolutely, 100% KNOW you are headed for GREAT things!
"I'm happy that you are excited about making a nice space for the kids. I'd like to let you know that I'm really not up for hearing all the details right now as I find it painful and I am confused about how to respond."
As for his trip with OW, of course it was with OW. You already knew he wasn't invested in working on your M during MC. All this shows is that he tried to protect your feelings and his butt in some way. In any case, good for you for not calling. The R that the trip violated no longer exists, it is not something to work out.
And remember, it was your choice to go to MC despite the emotional risks. Own that choice as something that was worth the risk to you at the time, even if in the end the result was not what you had hoped. It is all true and moving to that mind frame will help you not feel like a victim.
