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Hmmm. I thought it was something in their pants.

Good one Sara, I must be slipping I didn't catch that one.

(((((Pinkie)))))

Let it boost your PMA! But, thanks, but no thanks was the right answer. The last thing you need to do is get involved with him, even if you didn't intend to be. I'd be really worried that he was another MLCer, anyway! Just what you don't need!

Today my dad is going for a stress test on his heart after the episode he had the night before mother's day, he has had 2 more episodes since, the latest being on Saturday this week. When he went to the cardiologist last week she had a fit at his levels on his blood test because she said he was a prime candidate for his kidneys to shut down. He is 64. Please keep him in your thoughts today.

H stopped over this morning before work to pick up a folder, that he worked on yesterday and left sitting there for no apparant reason. I am wearing a fitted purple t shirt and black wide leg jeans, very casual. He made a comment about the t-shirt having a deer on it, (like where the polo logo might be). I said I don't care I like it. H - Why because it makes your boobs look big? Everyone knows you and knows you don't have any so its all bra(one he bought me I might add). I don't have to get all dressed up to pick people up at work.

Slap my hands but I texted him after he left to say I wouldn't get dressed up either if all I was looking for was a troll. I know, very immature, and not helpful, but some days I let him get to me.

I did manage to lean over my coffee to pick up something so now my shirt also has coffee on the boob in case anyone wasn't looking! All class....

Appraisor is coming today at 4:00.

Pinky you seem to have a penchant for attracting predators when your M is on downturn. lol

Sorry, but anyone who approaches you to go out with them under your circumstances is a creep and you should steer very clear away.

"I am a good listener" was the real red light t here...what he means is "I sense you are vulnerable and sad and I don't mind getting involved in something morally objectionable if there's a chance I can get some action"

Stay away from other men right now or you will end up making the same mistakes your H made. And right now maybe you can even understand better how he got into this mess.

I really blame marriage predators more than WW spouses. They are like carnivores who sense a weak member of the marriage herd and try to corner it and end its life prematurely...makes me sick to my stomach how morally compromising some people can be.

If I understand correctly, you are a) still married, b) still want your marriage, and c) are still living in the same home as your H. HOW on EARTH does this indicate to anyone that you are romanctically available? lol

And the B.S about I'm a good listener? Well, if he's such a good listener then why can't he read the signs that you aren't ready for a relationship? Those three I just pointed out should be clear to "a good listener"...sheesh

Anyhow, my advice is the same as others have said, stay away from other men right now and DON'T send out signals you are vulnerable...that brings them out of the wood work. Sexual predators love emotionally vulnerable women, they are easy prey.

Well done on the swim visit, you didn't interact and you left early to do something else...excellent detaching effort there.

Charming...does he insult you outright like this often? That is terribly immature...six year olds behave like that. My advice is to get a web camera. When my W bought hers during her affair I just went insane with upset. Next time he criticizes your looks just tell him "thank you, but your advice isn't wanted...please keep your insults to yourself from now on."



Hmmm..i honeslty don't understand what you were trying to say there...

I would suggest next time he gets to you to just write down what you want to say in a word doc or something so you get it out of you safely. Don't let him bait you into insult matches...he's just grasping for contact. When you fight back to him this means you love him and it gives him a rush to see that excitement in you still...

Yes he does but as you mentioned below it is to get the intended "fired up" response. He then tells me I need to relax.



It was a nasty comment about OW - she is short fat and ugly. It was immature uncalled for and in the opposite direction of my goal.



I am still married, I do still want my marriage - but am taking steps to end it because I cannot endure this any longer, I am not living in the same home as my H. He left 3 months ago this Sunday, since then he has spent 3 nights in my bed, and 5 nights - last week on my couch - the last 3 nights he has spent at his parents. The 3 nights prior to sleeping on my couch he slept in has car across the street. To my belief all other nights were spent at OW's house even though this is denied.

ok, first thing is that it is great to see you are being honest with yourself.

I am not saying he was with OW, but you have to assume he was so you don't get blindsided anymore.

Last time i read your post he was sleeping on your couch...even if he has'nt slept there in three days...men should NOT be calling you THREE DAYS after your H left ok? You are just very vulnerable right now and we are all worried you are going to make some impulsive choices you are going to regret later.

Anyways, "good listeners" are also good readers of indicators...he's not a good listener, he's a dangerous predator right now...dont' fall for the charming "if you ever need to talk" BS...that's what my W fell prey to...someohow "listening" ends up being "hit on her while she's alone, upset, hurt, and confused becuase she will do anything to escape feeling that way"

Don't trust that "talk" and "lisenting" BS..its a pick up line for marital predators.

i get the comment now, i had to read it a few times. lol

At least you understnad now that its a hurtful game he's playing with you...he wants you angry...it tells him he still has control over you and he can hurt you. He's misreable and he just wants you to join him there for company.

Don't play it.

ACT as if you DON'T CARE my dear..if you really want to get at him...act as if you dont care, THAT is what will burn him the most.

You think flinging an insult at the OW hurts him, but it actually just strokes his ego..it makes you look jealous, look like you love him, and look like a child.

He loves turning you into a jealous, lovesick, child...don't let him. This is just how he feeds his ego.

If you read "The Relationship Rescue" from Dr Phil he talks about ten ways people contaminate their relationships...I think the "Bottomless Pit" fits him well...they just make everyone around them miserable by manouvering everyone they interact with into stroking their ego. They will resort to insults and hurtful behaviour to get their partner to make them feel better or reassure them that they are worthless.

These types of people just have a huge chip on their shoulder telling them they are crap and they act out on other people...its very destructive to a relationship.

Anyways...you know the best way to get back at him is to ignore him..he's going to bait you, dont play the fish. Just ignore it and bask at how mature you are behaving in comparison to his silly games.

I talk too much. There, I finally made a short post for a change! lol

Don't worry about it, I like the feedback. I don't need the lectures about the predator though, I'm not the least bit interested and not going to get sucked in. I do get sucked in by my H quite regularly though and need to work on it.