It gets worse and I told him that just because he carries a picture of Jesus in his car doesn't mean all of his wrongs will be wiped away. Just because you moved out of the house before you decided to make it physical doesn't make it right.
He said I wasn't upset about my car or the accident I just wanted him at the house so I could start R talk. What an arrogant SOB. I need to stop crying...I'm taking a break.
kat
(((Kat))) I liked what you told him about Jesus, that was good.
It is not your fault H is being a jackass and he only said that because he knows he is wrong and will not take personal responsibility for it.
Everyone is right, cry and do what you need to do to get your feelings out and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. I'm just glad you two (you and DS) are ok.
Good use of the evil master plan too...I know, I'll let some moron take out the side of the car so I can get H to come over and be a f*cktard! Mwuahahahahahaaaa! Yeah, that seems likely! Wouldn't it be nice if the aliens actually left something that resembled a brain when they abducted our WAS?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Kat, H is too self-centered and too blind to understand what you are going through. You shouldn't feel bad about feeling bad. You never know what will be the catalyst for an emotional release. I remember early post-bomb (maybe waaay back in thread 2 or 3) I was at work. I was pretty stressed out both with what was going on with W, and now with an emergency to take care of. It was about 3AM and what do I do? I call W. Not to help me, not so she could fix anything, not any real practical reason. I wanted to hear her voice. These things happen. We are used to having them there for us. It is just too bad he was such a (as s&s puts it) f*cktard about it.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Hey Kat. Sorry about the wreck and sorry your H is such a F*cktard (that's a great word S&S, thanks).
I know how hard it is when your spouse is so wrapped up in themselves they can't see anything beyond the end of their nose. Me, me, me..me, me...me. If you can just think of your spouse being nothing but a self centered/absorbed wayward it helps me detach. I just try to remember that while under the influence of the OP, the portion of their brain that involves any thoughts of anyone but themselves is temporarily disabled.
Easier said than done, but it helps.
I'm glad no one was hurt in the accident. Cars can be fixed and just think, an insurance company has to PAY some money instead of just taking it in and YOUR insurance won't go up!
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
I hadn't heard that before, NC. Cute! Kat, I am so sorry you were all stressed out about the accident, and then instead of helping you with that, your H added to your stress like that!!! Horrible! I wonder if he will realize today what a jerk he was-because he clearly was one! Hope your day today is much, much better--and it is a holiday too! Do you have any fun plans for today?? Hope you can still have a good time today!!! Karen
I was supposed to go to my boss' this morning for a pancake feed. My Dad wanted me to check a couple things on the car before I drive so I probably won't go now. Then I was supposed to go this afternoon to my parents for fireworks.
So my plans are up in the air now. Just one more problem to add to my pile. The thing that bothers me was that I thought I was doing really well and then this happens and I fall right back into it. It probably will just be a blip on my radar later but for now it is just so raw.
I realize how little he cares for me while he is in this alien state. There is emotion there, him getting angry at me when I hit a nerve. Last night was the first night in two years that I didn't pray that our marriage work out. I just can't stand someone who has so little regard for me, especially when I was in crisis mode.
You guys have seen him so clearly and I still had my rose colored glasses on, refusing to see the worst. Hopefully this will help me get over the last bit of caring I had for the f*cktard(Thanks Sugar, I like that one!)
I am going to take a shower, start working on a new day. Thanks everyone for stopping by and your very kind words. Kind of sad I know, but I would be lost without all of you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat: You guys have seen him so clearly and I still had my rose colored glasses on, refusing to see the worst
I think we all have rose colored glasses on at some point. I know I have in the past, overlooking the worse and concentrating on the best (thats normal)
Quote:
Kat: I am going to take a shower, start working on a new day. Thanks everyone for stopping by and your very kind words. Kind of sad I know, but I would be lost without all of you
shower
Yes a new day, a day of possibilities, enjoy yourself today and everyday. You do not know how lost I was before I came here and Kat you have been one of those special people, that has listened to me and have been here for me - thank you soooo much I really appreciate it
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I was supposed to go to my boss' this morning for a pancake feed. My Dad wanted me to check a couple things on the car before I drive so I probably won't go now. Then I was supposed to go this afternoon to my parents for fireworks.
I hope you can go out and do something today; like the fireworks with your parents so you can hopefully get their support and maybe be able to get your mind off your horrible H for a little while today!
Quote:
I realize how little he cares for me while he is in this alien state. There is emotion there, him getting angry at me when I hit a nerve. Last night was the first night in two years that I didn't pray that our marriage work out. I just can't stand someone who has so little regard for me, especially when I was in crisis mode.
That is so true, just the me me me me me (who was that 1st came up with that???--so funny but so true!!!!)I started I think a week or two ago to stop praying for my marriage to work out, instead I do pray for a loving husband (but I'm not telling God which one I should have anymore)!
Quote:
You guys have seen him so clearly and I still had my rose colored glasses on, refusing to see the worst. Hopefully this will help me get over the last bit of caring I had for the f*cktard(Thanks Sugar, I like that one!)
We all have our rose colored glasses on! Well most of us anyway. It's hard and painful I think to accept how our WAS have changed, are acting, etc. I do think like this too that it helps you get over the caring we had for them; when my H is horrible, it helps me detach and think about divorcing without as much pain as I once would have had.
I hope you can try to have an OK day today! So sorry he kind of rained on your holiday like that!!! Karen
Well if the accident hadn't happened I wouldn't have had to deal with him at all. But really who else do you call when something like that happens.
He can't accept that he is different than he was. He refuses to see it and no glasses in the world could help him see. He is a lost cause. I am not.
H of course places all of them blame for R talk/argument squarely on my shoulders. He said if I had been in the hospital he would have come right away but since it wasn't a bad accident, he had to stop and think about whether he was up to getting into a conversation with me! UUUGGGHHHH
Best to wipe the slime off my hands and get on with it. The D papers should be with his lawyer but he hasn't said a word about any of it. Maybe he didn't accept our proposal? Then we would have to go to trial and I don't want to.
Let's just enjoy today, shall we?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
