Yoyo! Darn him!!!! You, my friend, are no fool. I am sorry. I know you are in a better place to deal with a D if it happens, but it doesn't hurt any less.
Your H is like mine, wants the D, but doesn't want to lift a finger for it. I am doing all the work in our D. If I didn't, H would happily cake eat forever.
I can't even began to say how sorry I am! Da$n Him!! What the he$$ is wrong with him, to do this to you after getting your hopes up! I know that you probably have become numb to this, but it doesn't make it any easier.
I wish you could hop on a plane and come over... Im so sorry!!
((((((((hugs))))))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Thank you my dear friends. You don't know how much it means to me to be able to come on here and be able to vent to you all. It's so nice to know you all will be here to comfort me and offer me advice.
I don't know a kinder group of people. I appreciate you all so much.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Your H is unfortunately in a completely narcissistic mode right now as well. My $.02: Hire the best L in town, file and ask for everything, including the $300/hr fees you'll be paying and alimony for life. Doesn't matter if you can get it, scare some sense into him. It'll be fun to watch him squirm for a while anyway.
Best wishes, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
I'm with SuperDad. Why shouldn't he have the family and sleep with the secretary on off nights? There are no consequences. He's the king of his little kingdom. King gets all the women.
Thanks for stopping by. I was just reading your thread earlier today. I'm sorry to hear things not working out for you either.
I think you are correct in the assessment of my H. He doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks of him right now including his own daughters.
Unfortunately, we don't have alimony in our state, but I will let my lawyer be as tough as she wants to be. He has had no regard for my feelings, so I think it may be time to hit him where it hurts, in the pocketbook.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Sara, You are right. He has it made, doesn't he? I think it's about time to let the secretary have her "prize". It's very obvious that he doesn't think anymore of her than he does me or we would be divorced right now and he would be with her. He is just playing her also.
His buddy is getting divorced. I can see the writing on the wall, they will be acting like immature teenagers out partying all the time.
The buddy told his SIL that he went to a party on the 4th of July and then to a night club and he had 35 year old women hitting on him. He just happened to be with my H that night because DD20 said that the friend slept in their extra bedroom and was very drunk that night. So...let them go for that quality of life!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Since my thread locked up. I decided to reply to your last comment here:
Originally Posted By: Yoyowife
NCB, You are such a rock to us and I hate that you are going through such pain right now. We all know what a wonderful man and father you are.
I do think that your emails to her are falling on deaf ears. I think maybe it is time just to let her be and continue to make her own mistakes. I think it will just put more hatred and justification in her heart if you continue. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh if that is how I'm coming off. I just worry about your feelings and her replies always upset you.
Perhaps you can write the letters to her and put them in a shoebox in the top of your closet. One day when this all behind you, you can take them out and bury them along with the past.
Hugs, Yoyo
Hugs, Yoyo
I really appreciate your kind words, and no, you never sound harsh. I am thankful for your candor. After so many months and years of dishonesty from the one person I thought would never be that way, I can tell you I really, really appreciate honesty.
And yes, I recognize that my words were falling on deaf ears with W, though I had a slight hope she might listen even a little tiny bit for once. All I did was put her back on the defensive. But I had to try, at least one last time before she files.
The apostle Paul instructed us to confront our brothers (and sisters), "restoring" them gently when they stray.
I have said my peace with her. Unless she wishes to engage me further in an honest and open discussion, there's really not much more to be said.
Thanks for your support. All of us here support you in return, and we're in your corner as you face this disheartening turn of events in your own situation. You have been a loving and devoted spouse, and a wonderful mother, going the extra mile for your family -- you don't deserve what your H has done.
