She'll notice. She'll notice. She'll notice. I promise.
Now, will that change your sitch....??? Can't answer that one.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
She will notice. But the thing I have discovered is they notice more when you are actually doing it for you.
This is a hard place to get to. Initially, I believe, we are so hurt by the sitch that all we can think about is what we can do to get the other person back. but I think it is once we let go a little, and really realize that there are ways to improve ourselves REGARDLESS of the outcome that they truly sit up and start to take notice. Hence...why everyone says work on yourself.
In the long run, whether or not the relationship resolves, ultimately you need to love yourself. Be proud of the person you are. Walk with confidence in knowing that someone may have pointed your flaws out to you, and although you will never truly be unflawed, that is okay, because you are a good person. That is what attracts people.
I have to tell you, that since I started really working on myself, I have never had so many men wink at me, flirt, beep their horns. It doesn't matter if I am in a gas station with my hair in a pony tail and no makeup, I tend to get second glances. It may be because my demeanor has changed. Other people like happy people...so be happy. Know that you are working on you FOR you, and if in the meantime your W decides that is attractive to her, it is an added bonus!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
That whole "act as if" thing. SUCH a hard one to do when you feel so down, but you are right Lola. People like happy people. Think of who YOU gravitate to in a room of strangers. The sullen person in the corner, our the one loudly laughing, chatting it up........ etc.
I know for my sitch I need to do so much more of this. I KNOW H is attracted to that, and that is ALWAYS who I've been. Unfortunatly for 3 months now, all he sees is a blubbering idiot crying at every turn. Not too attractive I'm sure.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
