Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives New to this forum and need help..

(((((Tina)))))

It sounds like you are doing a good job of what you need to do, though I know it hurts. It also sound sto me that you might be getting his attention, at least a little bit. It's hard to know why he is doing things, some of it may be guilt, but I think that all of those kinds of things add up to doubt on his part, which may help give you time.

Keep holding on! (To you, not him!)

I sometimes think that too... but then again who knows? this man is not the man I married.. Its like everything he has ever believed in has disapeared and a new person has emerged. I am trying so hard to keep it together.. But it is so hard to consentrate on anything else..

Tina...

Wondered what happen to you. You sound as though you are doing good. You are absolutely right, the aleins have come down and taken your H and left you with just a shell one who rewrites history, never been happy, was a mistake from the beginning, blah blah blah.

Jeff is spot on, you definitely have got H wondering and maybe second guessing things. Keep in mind though it can change like the wind, expect nothing protect yourself. Keep doing what you are doing, stay up with GAL'ing and 180's. You will be okay.

Brian

Good morning all...

Hoping today will bring something good my way. H and I are working together for the next 2 weeks.. I am anxious for our trip to Boulder this weekend... I am trying hard to be upbeat and friendly but not overly so... He asked me to go with him to see a private volleyball coach for our daughter, I think I will pass...there is no need for me to be there but I am sure he is expecting me to go.. try the unexpected?

t

(((((tmarie)))))

Unless you want to go to support your D. Maybe ask her?

well, I did not go, it was best tht way anyway.. I needed to be at the office and she had a friend go with her so it was not a big deal. On the upside, I am GAL! Been keeping very busy with my business and just got my old part-time job back. I am back at the YMCA as a dance instructor 2 times per week. Some thing I quit last winter. Very excited about it. I loved doing it but finding the time was becoming a factor (H complained about it taking up too much of my time...That I needed to be more involved with our business..) So now I have something to look forward to... Give myself something else to plan and think about. I can't wait to share what I learn with everyone after I meet with Michele... I have no expectations other than opening up the lines of communications. Maybe a miracle Only good can come of it.

Update.. nothing has changed... we talked a bit lastnight, not about the M but home repairs... he talked of re-wiring the house.. Like there was a future there or something.. I may be reading into things.. He hasn't been feeling well so I offered the bed to him lastnight... I went to bed after him, then opted for the couch...I don't think he expected that.. I really wanted to sleep with him though. Part of me wanted him to spoon with me... I often wonder if he even notices me in a sexual way. I'd give anything for him to approach me...of course since I am in 180 mode, I would turn him down... But the attention would be nice.... its difficult.. I am attractive, successful and floundering in my marriage.. things always look so good on the outside...

he has been so agreeable lately.. of course no M or D talk but sometimes there is talk of a future plans.. I can't tell if there is a glimps of hope or he is just trying to make conversation.

I asked him if we wre doing anything for the 4th, he said "not that I know of, I asked D but she didn't say what she wanted to do"

(D is 14.. she wants to hang out with friends I am sure... That is all she does..)

Now he has just ask if I had anything in mind... Any suggestions on this one guys? What do I say.. I really don't have a suggestion but I can make plans for myself & D or just myself..or for all of us...I know it seems silly but I need suggestions... Do I cont. the 180 and just make plans that do not include him, or something?

When a WAS talks of the future and the LBS is in it this is good, but don't expect anything, at any point this can change like the wind.

My question is, who usually makes the plans for the family?

If it is mostly you, then maybe let H have a shot at it?

If it is mostly him, then maybe you plan something.

I think he is reaching out abit so maybe go with it see what happens. Just MO.

Brian

Well I usually make the plans.. I am not even sure he wants to do anything, but he has asked if I had anything in mind... now I don't know what to say.. Although a girl friend of mine has asked if I wanted to do something... do I take the opportunity to let him be alone, or spend the time with him?? My D is going with friends I am sure... she does not want to hang out with her STBD parents... I think its awkward for her.. to see us together but not together..

well... another day... I made plans for this evening that do not include H I have not told him yet and I will be out rather late... He is getting curious I think...I was chatting w/a friend online lastnight, he was somewhat interested looking over my shoulder..

He did mention doing something tommorrow but nothing definate... I think I will make plans w/out him... I do not want to wait around wondering if we are spending it together or not... Trying hard to keep busy and keeping OW out of my head which is difficult... Everytime he gets a call or text I think its her...

I am in desperate need of affection.. a kiss or hug or something... from anyone at this point... I feel so BLAH....