Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? New thread, new phase?

Not yet, I still don't really quite know what to say...

I was thinking something like

'I'm fine, hope you are too. Thank you, I do appreciate you telling me that. I'm glad you liked the picture'

I don't know whether that is too much though, afterall I don't want to imply that everything is fine because he apologised but at the same time acknowlege that it took a lot for him to send me that.

Julia,

Perhaps something like,

"Thanks, I understand, this is a difficult for all of us. We will be ok"

Maybe leave off the last part. The only reason I put it in there is because it puts the bug in there that there could possibly be a we. Please listen to what others say. I Personally can't stand having any sort of R talk through text or e-mail for that matter, but since this is the forum he chooses to use, you have little choice unless you want no communication

Thanks TD. I like that, although I think the last part would send him running for the hills!

That's why I didn't send my text because I knew I was giving too much, it is just so hard when someone has been so horrible for so long and then they are nice, or make a gesture.

It is hard, but enjoy those moments. To me it is little things like this that gave me hope to get through the storm. Knowing your H still has feelings for you is significant.

Yeh, it truly is because I was convinced he had completely switched off from me and now he feels safe enough to say something like that to me so my DBing is having some effect!

I know I say it a lot but I do really appreciate everyone’s help here. I think you find things for a reason and it was definitely the right time for me to find the BB. I would probably be in a very different position if I had carried on down my path.

When are you going to start a new thread TD? Are you moving to piecing?

I am very grateful for this board for a number of reasons.

- An opportunity to share with people and know I am not alone in this illogical effort
- An opportunity to hopefully help other people from my experiences and make a positive differnce
- To develop friendships

I hadn't decided on where to put a new thread just yet. I feel comfortable in the sep forum, but in the same part I feel guilty putting something here because I feel like things are going better than I could hope for on such a short time frame....does this make sense.

I have something special planned for the W today (it is the 12 anniversary of our first date, and our 11th wedding anniversary in may was horrible). If it comes off very bad then I very well might be back to square one.....lol (well probably no that bad, but possibly a backslide)

TD, don't feel guilty. If you're happy here then stay. No one would be any less than thrilled for you that you are making good progress. I find reading your thread really helps me as it gives me a bit of hope that I should carry on. You first reason is great, I love it and you are absolutely making a huge difference to me! I don't think I would have got this far!

Today sounds intriguing... I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. It sounds like you are taking a risk??! Well, hey it's worth a try and you might really gain from it. Let me know how it goes!! I doubt, whatever it is, that you would go back to square 1 :-)

ok....here is the plan

I left a note for my W that her morning meetings have been taken care of and that she had an appointment at the local spa for this morning. I arranged for her to have a pedicure.

After her pedi, the spa owner (who we know) is going to hand her another note with a gift card to her favorite clothes store that says go next door and buy yourself something nice to wear.

Once she gets back to work there will be a little gift bag with a new perfume she has been wanting to try and a note saying I can't wait to see you in the new outfit

Later in the day I have arranged for a single rose to be delivered that just says I will pick you up at 6.

I have dinner reservations at one of our favorite restaurants.


It is a bit risky, but I think she will enjoy the thought and preparation put into it and kind of the mystery of it all......like a scavenger hunt.

Oh my gosh that is so lovely!!

Well, there isn't much there not to like to be honest. IMO I think you are both in a place now where you can take risks. I don't know what time it is there? Will she have found the note yet? I take it you haven't heard anything?

I really like the scavenger hunt aspect too and also the fact that you meet up at the end to spend qt together. In a way she has to put some effort in too, even if it is to be pampered! Oh, good luck TD. She is so lucky to have you as a husband, seriously.