Over thinking is my problem! I am now going to stop thinking and do an internet grocery shop. I can't get to any shops round here grrr... wish I could drive.
Tomorrow I am going to eat properly, and try out that recipe! It sounds yum! Thanks guys for your help. I feel better for working that one out and getting away from that intense loneliness feeling that overtakes me occasionally. Luckily it doesn't happen so often now which is good.
Don't worry about your friends/family. If you treat them with respect and are calm when you state that you appreciate their concern but that this is the approach you are taking, then they will respect you and if they are friends then they will support you.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Personally I think that cookie dough is the best ice cream for this kind of night, it’s the best of two worlds. I just wanted to echo a few of the comments that have already been said.
It is important to remember that your friends and family want what they think is best for you. Just know it’s out of love and support and keep what you know to be your desires in your heart. You are trying hard to keep a Love and M alive and are the only one working at it right now so it’s normal to have these feelings. Just don't quite you know you want this. You may need to detach to deal with it but that is not giving up.
Have you considered moving to a new place now? I know that can be hard money wise, but it will show him you are ready to sell the house. Then you can have your own fresh start and it will make dealing with the house easier. It helps a ton with detaching from the memories that are in that house.
My mother always said if it does not kill you it makes you stronger. Days like this will come and go but every day that passes you become a stronger better person. When this is over you will be happy even if he has missed his chance to share in that. Your either going to get him back as a better man, and you a better person or you will move on as a better person. Either way you don’t lose, he does. Keep your chin up, because you Rock!!
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
Oh my gosh!! You know what, I was taking a bit of time out to have a reassessment of my sitch as I was feeling negative and a bit lost thinking that my h would now go away and forget about me but I think that my actions had an impact on him. He just sent me a text saying
'I don't really know whether this is the right thing to say, or if you want to hear it, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for hurting you so much. Whatever you might think it still breaks my heart when I see you upset like you were yesterday and I'm truly sorry for everything I have done. I hope you're ok anyway. I put up my picture (of our cat) at work.'
What do you guys think of that? I don't quite know what to make of it? Any ideas on how to reply?
Hmmm, I don't know. Part of me says to just let it go. another part says, "I'm fine", that's it.
I don't think "they" ever like it when they see hows reality fits into their version of reality, but I don't think it means that they would actually do anything differently. I think the text was meant to make him feel better, not you.
My instinct on the text is to reply lightly saying 'thanks for letting me know. I appreciate it' (or similar) and leave it at that. I think it'd be a good idea to reward his 'good' behaviour, i.e. regret and thinking of you, as well as contacting you, but not in an overly effusive way.
Him being sorry is good- a sorry and an expression of regret was the first baby step I got from H. On the other hand, I wouldn't recommend getting upset again. He knows he's hurt you. Now show him what he's missing out on!
You are right about him seeing actual reality I think for the first time and I am a little sad that he took away from it that he has hurt me, although I couldn't hide in our meeting that saying he could sell the house was hurting me deeply. He has apologised in the past during the separation and I have dismissed it as really actions speak louder than words. But this is the first time he has made an effort to text me and consider what this is doing to me and it has meant that he has thought about whether what he is doing is right and I think he knows it isn't.
Also, when we were happy and we had an argument I used to say that to make things ok again he only had to apologise and he used to say to me never to ask him for an apology and he would only ever apologise if he really truly meant it.
But you are also right that he is really doing it to make himself feel better at the same time. But I think he knows that an apology won't make it right, he is not naive. I think he somehow wants to make this right but doesn't know how. I think he is still confused...
But you are also right that he is really doing it to make himself feel better at the same time. But I think he knows that an apology won't make it right, he is not naive. I think he somehow wants to make this right but doesn't know how. I think he is still confused...
I think you are right, appreciation but not overly! It's cute he put the picture of the cat up in his office. It also means he can't forget about me so easily at work now! I have finally infiltrated his office. Mwhahhahaha (evil laugh - yeh, that doesn't work so well!) :-)
