Nah.....not as difficult as you think. I found it becomes a lot easier once you start to see a change in your W's demeanor, which you have started to see. It almost inspires you to be cooler....it makes you think I can "win" this battle of wills just by being cool. I know that isn't the best way to express it, but is all I could come with....
The hard part is fighting the urge to say something like "see you obviously want to be back together, so lets just end this nonsense".....resist this urge....keep your eye on the ball
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
it makes sense. you're right tho. that will be the hard part. LOL. BUT you're right. gotta keep my eye on the long term goal... the frustrating part is how much longer is long term?
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
That is something you have control of. The better you DB, the fewer backslides the quicker your W will gain confidence in your R and the quicker things will progress. Backslides put doubt in your W. I think the most important part about backslides is how you handle yourself afterwards. If you backslide and react poorly to your W's reaction then that is a double backslide and I feel the "damage" is worse than the two backslides combined. If you backslide and kind of laugh it off then you can almost eliminate the damage from the backslide....ie. you show confidence.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
true. i think i'm doing ok. I'm very much aware of the behaviors I had prior to this, and i'm working to have a better grasp of them...ie the controlling aspect, the lack of support, etc...validating...i think it's going well. just gotta take my time.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
so W just picked up 2D's for the evening....OMG....she looked so good. I told her that too. She told me she's put on weight...i responded "oh really? Can't tell..." she said thanks...
why does this have to take so long?????
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
my D3.5 was talking about dinner. My W said to her..did you want ot stay with daddy for dinner?...i heard it, and did nothing to facilitate the three of them dstaying for dinner.
dammit.
DAM.
Good? Bad? My C thinks I'm not there yet...emotionally i mean. I'm still in the battle between my rational mind and emotional mind.....
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
