Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives HOLA! All things work together for good...15

you are one busy guy , glad you had a blessed weekend!


oh yes, and eventually, those negative thoughts loose their venom for we've taken their power away from them by making God in charge of our thoughts. I am amazed of how God has able to neutralize the worst intrusive thoughts and has given me peace, whole mornings/afternoons go by that I dont' think of the A/ow/betrayal junk I went though, and if they begin to gnaw at me I throw the whole thing over God's way, cast them away from me.

Father's Day post script

It really was tremendous afternoon and evening. In the past BITTERNESS would rise up with thoughts like "I should be able to experience this time with my family and my kids all the time, not just on special occasions!" Yesterday, I can't recall feeling that emotion OR, if the thought did try to pop up, it was quickly squelched.

How? FORGIVENESS AND PRAYER towards X and Mr. X.

The evening concluded with me opening my father's day gifts which had been in the car trunk since the morning. I opened them with the kids in the car while sitting in front of X's house. I received two frames with really cool pictures of my kids which I will take to work.

The card

It was from my daughter (but she had her brother sign it just the same). It was a picture of the most precious girl, maybe 4 years old, wearing jeans, an oversized softball jersey and hat, holding a softball and a huge mitt partially covering a precious moments type smile. On the front, is says, "Happy Fathers day" four times. Inside it says:

Quote:

...with love from daddy's little girl

Her inscription:

Quote:

hey there [nickname] well, i'm basically just dropping by to tell you happy father's day!! I love you [nickname]... I don't think I say that enough so I'm telling you now I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. Now hat you're working [no longer working from home] and i'm going into my senior year of h.s. i'm beginning to realize just how precious the time we spend together is. I really do want to make the most of it. so I guess i'll start with today. I love you dad. thank you for everthing. love, your baby girl.

Awe!!!!

I got out of the car and hugged both my kids before they walked to the house. While holding my daughter, I told her "we have 15 months before you go away. I want you to make a list of the 10 things you would like to do with me before you go to college." She liked that. (thanks to the idea from sofaraway - Ian)

Son was standing there and said "hey, what about me?" (we are really tightly bonded) I lovingly looked at him and said, "shut up, I see you all the time." He laughed and then walked to the house with his sister, bouncing along, cracking jokes at her expense, no doubt.

It is indeed, a wonderful life!

George "C2H" Bailey

cat,

Amen! you have seen the blessings WE get by staying in a mode of forgiveness. It is a continuous battle BUT the rewards from victory DO outway the cost. You and I realize we can not do it on our own But "with God, all things are possible."

That God is willing to forgive us sinners, we take our cue in forgiving others from that.

Now off to traffic (to pray) and work!

C2
That made me all teary!!
How much your baby girl loves you!

Ya know I think like any R , parent/child ones ebb and flow too, not that you ever stop loving your children and visa versa but you become closer at certain times, I know my S and I were very close when he was young thennnn puberty happend and not as much, more actually w/ his dad,,,then the bomb and the silver lining we are very close now.

I think your R w/ your little girl is going to grow stronger and stronger as she becomes a woman- she will always need her daddy, even when one of those "men" come into her life lol
and when she gives you grandkids I think your R will grow in ways you prob never thought possible.

Its a journey for sure.
So did you decide what you guy would do?? I still say crazy golf and you have some fun places around t here!

C2,

I want you to know that I read what you posted and it made my heart happy for you, but it made me sad for my girls. I'll have to write more about this later because right now it's making me a little teary.............

what a sweet teen you got , I can only pray my d5 feels that way about her dad, that despite his shortcomings he comes through for her and s10

Bethie and any others whose childrens' dads have their heads up their rears:

I started the "Things for daddys and daughters?" thread with the hope of finding things for me and my daughter to do but also with the hope that maybe some mom's can share these ideas with their WAS's in a non threatening way, maybe even in a way that the dads would think these activities would be their own ideas. You know:

"Hey, S for brains, d was mentioning how much she would like you to take her to lunch and shopping one day? Don't tell her I told you; let her think it was your idea."

I have struggled on how to connect with my daughter and I proactively try to be very involved in her life. I can only imagine how challenged (their own damn fault) some of your WAH's might be in wanting to reconnect. Some may actually want to do something but are clueless.

I would also bet some are rightly feeling guilty and may even think thye have blown it way beyond repair yet I think we know that our children can be more forgiving than we can be, if these guys will take a step or two forward.

Just a thought.

Bethie,

Praying for you. I am really sorry for your pain, sorry for your kids and for all the children representated by their parent on the DB board.

I am actually at loss for what to say except that I deeply care and pray we will see healing for the sake of the kids.

You know C2, you are so right!

In fact, I was talking to R the other day, he said he hasnt been to a Padres game for awhile, last summer he and his dad did go to one Angels game, I suggested he suggest to his dad, they go to a Pads game and stay the night and h ang out in San D for the day, we use to that as a family.

Most of R friends are not in town in the summer, maybe one he hangs with but even so, I think doing things as a father/son are very important no matter the age.

Ya know I think I'll text ex and suggest it, he may not realize S would like that, dont think he tells him.
Thanks for the idea!

Karen, it couldn't hurt could it? As long as the dads don't think they are being painted into a corner.

Example, you in a message to X: "Ry mentioned this the other day... just thought I would share it with you, he doesn't know I'm contacting you..."

this way, if he can great, if he can't or won't, then the kids (even a college grad is still your "kid") won't be disappointed.

Hope it leads to something.