My take on it is that DB gives you the best chance to save your M, because it saves you. In my mind, saving you isn't a happy byproduct, it is a key part of the solution.
Our purpose here is SINGULAR. To save marriages. Please remember that.
sg
Mmm; I understand that this is Divorce Busters and we are here to save our marriages .. however, if you see someone losing themselves to save their marriage I don’t think it is wrong to point that out.
I personally would rather hear someone tell me what they felt in their heart not what they thought they should just because it fits in with the ethos of the website.
Nutty
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
The client here is the MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP, not the individual.
Are you freakin KIDDING me???
Did that statement really just roll out of your head, through your fingers on get posted on this board, SG?
I can't wait to read the backpeddling you do on that one.
Let's see....off the top of my head...you just threw Jeanette, ACJ, Hopefloats, Nicola, cat03, Lissett, April, David...as well as a whole HOST of others who's marriages weren't saved (although they as INDIVIDUALS were) right up under the bus and told them all that the powers that be don't give a flip about them.
So what I hear you saying is as long as they were fighting to save their marriages - jacked up as they were in some cases - they were welcome to post freely on this board. But the minute they decided it was time to save themselves - their views are no longer important and are flat-out unwelcome to others who may be following similarly in their footsteps and NEED their insight.
Good job, SG.
I hope you're not a counselor in your day job.
Let me enlighten you on something you should know if the tale you spin here about your own life is true: What we learn here is useful whether or not we keep standing. Hell, in some cases it is priceless to other individuals and it doesn't make one bit of difference if we decided to hop off the rollercoaster that is DBing OR NOT. What if someone would have taken that stand about YOU, SG - that you didn't matter when you came along AFTER your divorce and TWO relationships later?? What if someone said that YOU as an individual didn't matter or didn't have anything to contribute???
I think it would kinda suck for you if the posters from now on take what you have to say with a grain of salt or straight up disrespect. Oh wait. I guess because you aren't here for help and advice now, but rather as an "overseer", you aren't in the same category as "us" so therefore our opinions won't matter to you.
How wonderful it must be to be you, SG.
Hey next time you're on a roll, lock that thread April started for me over Separated would you?
SG, it's not like we don't care about you, we do. This is so unlike you to be this way and we want to support you through whatever you're going through.
If you are considering divorce, I want you to know that I agree with you if you think that life is too short to be miserable. It's true that we only have one go-around and that your life isn't a dress rehearsal. You need to hear me say that I am not suggesting you stay in an unhappy marriage and resign yourself to loneliness and misery. Far from it. That wouldn't be good for anyone!
******
Finally, there are no guarantees. Sometimes, you can seven-step until the cows come home and it might not save your marriage. But I can tell you that unless you follow the steps in this book, you will never know for sure whether or not your marriage could have been saved. Right now, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. People who follow the Divorce Remedy program felt better about themselves and more optimistic in general no matter what.
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I keep hearing that DB might not save your M, but it can save YOU. But I guess that doesn't matter. Is that right?
Edit: not being snarky - I really want to know.
There is truth in that statement, but it comes from folks on the board. The PURPOSE is to save the marriage/relationship. Saving yourself is a good outcome.
Last edited by sgctxok; 06/29/0803:43 PM.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
If you are considering divorce, I want you to know that I agree with you if you think that life is too short to be miserable. It's true that we only have one go-around and that your life isn't a dress rehearsal. You need to hear me say that I am not suggesting you stay in an unhappy marriage and resign yourself to loneliness and misery. Far from it. That wouldn't be good for anyone!
******
Finally, there are no guarantees. Sometimes, you can seven-step until the cows come home and it might not save your marriage. But I can tell you that unless you follow the steps in this book, you will never know for sure whether or not your marriage could have been saved. Right now, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. People who follow the Divorce Remedy program felt better about themselves and more optimistic in general no matter what.
Thanks for reposting that.
Let the person get to that point themselves.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
