Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Walk-Away-Spouse Question for live-in WAWs

Thx. It is a girlfriend. Ever since this happened she has been forthcoming eventhough I told her that she doesn't. My C said be prepared for a lot of tests...he also said, after meeting with her to get her POV that he believes if I keep up my end that he believes that IC will be MC come August. He is also the one that said she just wants things to settle down. Of course that was early this week.

I don't have any reason that there is an OM, at least for the time being. It just puzzles me too. You want Sep and D yet she acts friendly and caring. This will be a fun journey.

Thx again.

Well, W girlfriend called to say she is crashing over. They were drinking heavily and I could here her and the others in the background. Not a bad idea and was expecting it. Actually surprised I got a call albeit from her friend...actually let it go to VM.

Now I can't be one to complain because I have had my fair share of crazy nights where she had kid duty. Of course I was at home though. 4d will have questions in the am.

Again, she wants her independence yet she feels compelled to keep in the loop. Confusing.

any insight is appreciated.

Have any of the WAW read To bad to stay to good to leave? My W just purchased the book...no not snooping, it was on the kitchen island. Is it a good book for her to be reading notgn from her and mine POV?

Well, I read a few pages of the book at BandN and one glimmer of hope is that the author says to try MC just to make sure. You don't lose anything by doing such. Well, let's see if W comes around. Trying to be patient...not something 3 am known for.

Sandi and SC, can you check my thread at newcomers and give me your perspective on me W cornering for a R talk today. It was refreshing for both of us tos say how we feel and what we want and which feelings she feels won't be able to change...intimacy towards me being #1...she also basically asked me for help with the D. Not exact words but that is the gist of it. I told W that I do not want a D but if it comes to that so it does.

I felt like I slid back for having the conversations but it seems that what is calling her away, need to be independent, do things for herself and the kids and figure out who she is, I can't do anything about except be patient and give her time and space. What scares me is my state doesn't require legal A before D and you cam get one in 90 days. I am afraid she'll get caught up in everything and then once she realizes things it will be to late.

SC, thx for your courage to post your story. It was both moving and insightful and gave me some perspective and plent to reflect upon.

I felt as if I was your h during my talk with w today. Whereas it was good to talk about me and she sincrely wanted to know what I was thinking...I did manage to get her to open up in the process...she asked if I wanted specifics and I said no. I want to listen to what you have to say. What and how your are feeling.

In any case, she had said she had started to feel pressured into intimacy and that was a bid issue. She feels that she won't be able to make me happy. I told her that I understood. Not sure how to crack that nut.

Hi there LosingSunshine

You need to get everything on to one thread- there are loads of folks on this board prepared to help but it confuses the hell out of them if the same username pops up in different places!

Best - GFI

Will do next time I'm on a pc. Thx GFI!

I have read Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. I think I am a LBS that sorta kicked her man out, and now I am a WAW. Weird I know...but everyone is normal until u get to know them right.

Re the book. It's a reasonably well balanced book. I read it when I was desparately trying to work out whether the marriage (and h) deserved my efforts to try and work things out. My h had had an affair and I felt he had been pretty nasty to me in most interactions by witholding, criticising, disparaging, impatience, silent treatment, yelling, expecting me to be perfect etc. The only thing I could say is that it shows that she hasn't made up her mind.

Thx for your thoughts Purple. I kind of figured as much as she has been going out a lot and said that she was so as not to have to think about things.

During our talk yesterday I brought up the need to take things slowly so things don't get out of control to quickly. I know that was a no no but I had to if not for me, but for the kids.

I was also wondering last night, could she be doing the LRT on me? Probably not, I know just thinking about things.