(((Jeff))) Just keep being you. You are a great guy, and sooner or later she will come out of the fog and see it...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
and you fell for it Truthfully, I can't imagine how it is for your W in a house full of men/boys. She's been a full time mom/wife for many years and now is making a career outside the home. She should get a lot of credit for doing that!
That doesn't give her the right to be Ms Crabmaster all the time.
Use your good traits - humor, wit, wisdom, sincerity - but don't skip filling her love tank with seriousness too. She is noticing your changes, your GAL. Don't shut her out. Unless you want too, and you do want out. That would be a good start.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Don't shut her out. Unless you want too, and you do want out.
Some days.....
I think I will get with the boys, and we'll see what we can think of for the 4th, and get her involved. We can make it clear that she is part of the gang!
Don't shut her out. Unless you want too, and you do want out.
Some days.....
I think I will get with the boys, and we'll see what we can think of for the 4th, and get her involved. We can make it clear that she is part of the gang!
((((Jeff)))))) I like that plan- speaking as one girl in a big family of boys/men, I can honestly say that when they say 'You can come if you want to' I feel like they're doing me a favour by asking, not that they want me to come. It's not easy being the only girl in a family with 5 boys!!
Hope you're having a super day. Seriously, this must be the longest thread EVER!!!
L. xx
PS> I'm a TOTAL sucker for dark hair and blue eyes.
I know that she says she feels outnumbered! But, you know what, based on how we treat her, I think it's something she's projecting onto us. It feels like if things are not like she wants them to be, she uses the fact that the rest of us are guys to put the blame on us. I don't think we exclude her, I think she excludes herself, and then blames us! At least that's what it feels like to me.
You know, I think it is natural to feel outnumbered and excluded when in practical terms you are. I know that my dad has always felt the same with 3 daughters + wife. We said to him recently (when he finally expressed this after 38 years) that all he needed to do was phone occasionally or not just hand us over to my mother when we called. Actually he has now made a point of calling us all every week and I have noticed a huge change in him because of that. He was thrilled that I opened up to him the other day and I could tell he felt helpful instead of resentful and withdrawn. He was so defensive about potentailly being 'hen-pecked' that he ended up not bothering and saying living in a house full of women was a nightmare. Now we've all left home I think he misses it though!
Anyway, sorry didn't mean to hijack just thought it might help.
Hope you're ok this evening... or is it afternoon for you?? Julia
Who cares what she thinks? As long as we're happy!!
It's interesting that your W feels excluded. I wonder if there could be a difference in communication style contributing to that? A Mars and Venus thing? Women like to be woo-ed and cajoled, and my Dad/brothers don't get that at all. They think it's enough to just say 'We're going to watch the cricket' and that I'll take that as an invite, whereas I want 'Would you like to go and watch the cricket? It'd be great if you could come' Oh, I just think I've had some insight into my own family R's!
Just a thought.....although I don't want to expand too much in case you decide to focus on W and not run away to England with me!!
