Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy H had 3 year affair and I never knew!

So true!

Ok. Just when I thought life couldn't get anymore complicated... H rings me to say his car has broken down, could I pick him up. I get to him, and then when I pull away in my car, that one breaks down. We think we are looking at two large garage bills.

Can't believe it. I was hoping to start without a large credit card bill, but I can't see how else I am going to pay for this.

On the positive side, have put all my stuff on ebay (see previous post) and obviously I had to put a photo of the boots on, and to sell things like that it is better if you wear them.

Got this reply through ebay...

hi great boots!!!!

your legs look great too babe...
do you not offer a price for a date with you in the boots????
your legs are brilliant xxxxxxxxxxx

get in touch x



Don't worry, I'm not up for a date with my mystery admirer, but it made my day!

My car is going to cost £1800 (that's $3500 to you!) to fix. Basically I am on my own with this one now as H has his own to sort out.

Can't believe it.

hey happy c

remember what does not break us makes us stronger... Think of all of the things in the past that 'Seemed" like things can't get worst. and look... You are still here...and the sun still came up.....

take care..

Husband

hey there, first of all big hugs and I'm very happy you are clinging to God, which is the only solution so one can NOT go nuts during this awful time.

Sorry to hear about your car!! when it rains it pours, yikes! hope it doesnt' have any other problems and that it runs for a long time to come.

Yea, stbx also liked to downplayed the A, though true that the As were just symptoms of a larger disease the As and its implications hurt like crazy. But, do try to fight off with all your might the thoughts that will engulf you about him and the ow/s, it is a hard task, I fought hard with that too even during the time my stbx came back. With lots of prayer you will be able to exorcize those negative thoughts out of you, for God is the God of the impossible.

And yes! it does help to help others, it helps you to see the bigger picture and not to wallow in your problems, she's lucky to have a good friend like you

LOL about the boots!!! ha ha

I wanted to check your post and I started reading, then I found this

I've thought about this also, I am 40, with 4 children, mine are young also.

Its going to take a special person to get involved with us. I believe there is hope for you and me. I don't think I would have a problem with a girl that had 4 kids, I came from a big family and I like kids, There are a lot of good guys out their, I hope God picks out a very special one for you.

I will have someone to hold, to kiss, to love. Why, becuase I'm a great guy and fun to be with, I love to cook for people. There are so many good things about me, I'm sure to find love again. To be fair, I'm also inflexible and I have a temper.

We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.

M45
W41
M10 3/4 years
D9, D6, D6, S5
OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me
WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08
Date I'll forgive W for A = never

Thanks Husband for your encouraging words. You are absolutely right.

Cat thanks for reading my stuff. I hadn't thought about the 'impossible' in this situation that way, I had always assumed the 'impossible' was us getting back together. It was good to speak to my Pastor yesterday and he confirmed that he was 100% behind my part in the decision to D. Phew!

Jeff

I must admit I find it hard to think I will find someone at the moment. I live in a rural area in the UK where there are a distinct lack of christian single men, let alone one who wants a woman with 4 children in her late 30s. I know it is way to early for me to be thinking about finding someone else, but it does play on my mind.

The sad thing for me is why my H couldn't have told me years ago when he first 'left' me, maybe when I had one child, rather than leaving it til now when I have four. I just can't imagine finding someone to take us all on who I am really attracted to and isn't going to tell me a string of lies again like stbx...

You see, I might be able to entertain forgiveness, but as for hope for my future - ha! forget it. I feel devastated that 3 months ago I had (or I thought I had) someone to kiss me and hold me and... all the rest. And now - it's gone.

What seems so unfair, and I'm being really honest now, is that he can go out tonight (as he is out) and have sex with anyone he wants, and enjoy all that comes with that. Me? I will have to wait years to find someone. My sex-life has just been snatched away. Goodness, is this how single christian people feel? I am so sorry for not being more understanding.

Ah, it's late here in the UK and I am tired! Being far too open...

Happycamper,
Im sorry about your car! Mine is on the fritz too. They have fantastic timing.

I agree with you about the unfairness of the fact that they can go out and laugh with their buddies while you stay home with your children. And I feel the same way about remembering the happier times, Ill see a date and think, oh, that was before H lost his mind. It seems like yesterday. If only I could have done A, B, or C I would still have him here with me.

But I know that now that he has chosen to walk his road alone you need to worry about you. You cant control his actions, but you can control how you react. Dont let his mistakes determine your behavior. Do what you KNOW is the right thing to do, then you will never have to apologize to anyone, if they have an issue with something youve done, thats their problem. And you will know that you always behaved in a manner you can be proud of. And your children will see it, just think about what you are teaching them about the value of a marriage and family. People who make their choices like this are centered and I think that that is very attractive to others.

You can find someone else, we all can, and when you do it will feel so good to finally have someone to hold your hand, hold you while you sleep, laugh at your jokes, someone for you to stay up all night with talking. And this experience will have taught you some very valuable lessons, just think, you will be a better wife than you could have ever been before. If he chooses to not come back, then what about those other women? They can have the lying, broken man your H will have chosen to become.

Im praying for all of us, I hope that your sitch gets better.
Take care.

Kris.