Yes, I too get feelings of anxiety, mainly becuase you have to kind of put on a mask when you see them, although I do that less and less nowadays. I still never say whats in my heart though -like ILY. So I guess he has turned me into him (a people pleasing mask wearer!!!) how ironic.
I cant see your H dropping any bombs, unless he backed off considerably. For now, things seem to be ticking along in the same wishy washy fence sitting manner they have done for a while! (for you and for me)
I sent you my pic on facebook, oh and your D is gorgeous! Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Well at least I know I'm not alone in that thought process. I was a little worried that I was being kind of pessimistic but prefer to look at it like I'm being prepared!!!
So, as for coffee.. it did not happen. and of course he didn't call to say it wouldn't happen. He called to say he was on his way up to see us at @ 4:41pm. Too late to go get coffee and chat before getting D2 at daycare. I was actually on my way to pick her up when he called.
Traffic was a bear since I live in an Italian dominated city.. flags waving everywhere, car horns honking endlessly... the city was definitely alive and excited by Italy making it through to the next round for the Euro Cup (John210, I'd bet you were too!!).
Anyway, since H was on his way up to see us and was going to arrive before D2 and I.. I asked him to put some pasta on for us (since that was what I was planning on making for dinner). He did. Dinner was good.. D2 was happy that Daddy was here when she got home.
By the way. D2 didn't have any accidents in her underwear at daycare yesterday!!! Good stuff!!!!!
So we pretty much just hung out at home. We were going to hit the Starbucks after dinner but D2 wasn't agreeable.. and when she's like that it's not fun being out with her anyway.. so I made us some Greek coffee.
After we put her to bed he had some ice cream.. then I worked on sorting his self employed small business receipts into a folder.. and he worked on organizing his full time job business receipts that he needs reimbursement for.. and then I helped him total all of his reimbursable receipts (this is something I always helped him with in the past).. While doing this we were watching the Boston Celtics win... and watched some of the soccer highlights... all the while chatting about this and that. A lot of the time it feels like old times.. like none of this cr@p has happened.. until he gets up to leave and walks out the door.
Got 2 goodnight pecks. One as he was bringing his stuff out to the car.. then he came back in while it warmed up for a minute and I got another one.
Then he called this morning and I didn't answer. I figured it was him but didn't want to make myself too available. He left a message stating he was wearing the new t-shirt he/we found at the mall on Father's Day.. how good he looked (ha, ha, ha) and that he was off to the dentist. He finished off with an ILY. Today I think he might mean it.. we did get along really well last night... with no crying no relationship talk.. just being us.
Tides have not turned though. Still very much in stage 2, which I will take "for now".
Is it just me? I find when he says stuff like this my first thought is always "what bomb does he want to drop on me?" I get myself really worried about it.
me too, me too! With one foot in Piecing I'm still dreading another bomb. And I agree with Jen - our WAS are afraid of getting together as well, may be even more than we are.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
thank you SO much for your help today on my thread. It is really amazing to put my thoughts out there and get your clarification & reassurance so quickly... you are a delight!!!
I know stage 2 must be frustrating, but please enjoy... you are doing so many good things for yourself and sharing many positive moments of connection with H, and showing him your strength. That is amazing!!!
Tides have not turned though. Still very much in stage 2, which I will take "for now".
God dont I know exactly what you mean! I would be thrilled with an ILY though, so your sitch trumps my sitch there. Otherwise, its the same as you. All good, just like we were a couple and then he says "I'm going to go now" and its like reality jumps up and slaps you around the face with a wet haddock and awakes you from that dream, like it had all never happened. I know!
Sigh, hey, at least they ARE still in our lives. When my MILs H walked out after 22 years, she never saw him again !!!! I'm grateful for small mercies...
See ya on Facebook! Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Well D2 and I took a drive in to the big city of T.O. today and met a "friend" (a.k.a. my H or D2's Daddy) for lunch.
It was a good lunch.. we had tex mex.. some nachos!!! Overall a pleasant visit which was finished off with a Starbucks and you all know how much I love their lattes!!
Brought some baby clothes and stuff down to H's work to give to his boss. His boss and his wife had given us a bunch of hand-me-downs when D2 was born so I wanted to return the favor.
Seemed H was happy to spend a bit of time with us.. since he's working all weekend we won't see anything of him.
Tomorrow we're going to go see my Mom for her birthday and Sunday we're going to a 3 year olds birthday party.. so an eventful weekend for us as well.
Will hopefully finally have a quote from H's friend for painting this place.. and I'll need to buy some packing boxes and tape this weekend.. and then I'm going to pack like crazy on Tuesday (while D2 is in daycare).
Guess that's about it from me. Nothing newsworthy here.
