I've been busy preparing for my move. H asked me again last night if I would consider staying here. I told him that at this point I can't. I've already made all the arrangements to go back and that is what I must do. I pointed out that not much has changed: he's not happy with his job and many other things, the pattern of infidelity, no steps taken to deal with issues.
We also talked some more about OW. He asked me again if I wanted to call her and tell her off but I said that I am not going to resort to that. Does anyone have any opinions on this since H does approve of it - it might actually make me feel better to give her a piece of my mind.
He said he was attracted to OW because of what they shared in common professionally and it evolved from there. I asked him if he ever saw her as a step mother for our S and he said right at the beginning he did but afterwards definitely not. Yet he continued to pursue her to the very end. Sigh!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
In regards to the OW. I know it is tempting to give her a call but what would that really accomplish? If you think about the pros and cons it might helpt to make a decision.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Why should you talk to OW? Your H is the issue not her. It would be validating her as part of your life. I highly recommend that you do not talk to her at all.
Good luck with the move. My thoughts and prayers go with you.
Besides, may be unconsciously he is trying to make YOU punish OW for what she's done to him. Don't call.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Jen, Eagle, Stella - I appreciate your feedback. My gut instinct was to not contact OW but, I have to admit, a part of me would love to tell her exactly what I think of her. Stella, I do agree that H is wanting ME to fight his battle for him (punish OW for what happened). I told him I wouldn't stoop down to her level and I will stick with that.
BTW Stella, I wanted to post on your thread last night but it was locked. You said you are thinking about what forum to go to. I am so happy for you.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thanks, Addie ! I didn't know my thread was locked. I will try to go to Piecing, even though I'm still not sure I belong there.
Quote:
I have to admit, a part of me would love to tell her exactly what I think of her.
Oh, wouldn't ALL PARTS OF ME JUST LOVE to do the same !
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I concur w/the others-- don't call OW. Aside from punishing her through you for dumping him, your H would like to shift most of the blame for their A onto her.
Addie...It might even backfire and push her back to your H. W2G is right she is nothing and not worth the energy you would use to call to her and speak to her.
You are better than she could ever hope to be.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
!