Some of the success stories on the MLC forum had the similar reaction initially however with time that went away and their H's caved.
Just be suddle about it. You know what to do.
I will give you a warning he may claim its just sex so you need to be ready to handle that, but dont worry about it too much. You just can't have "just sex" with your wife. They just say it to convince themselves. god will use that initmacy between you to build up the bond.
Redsawks44,
Maybe compliment her a bit. You mentioned her sitting on the couch suggestively. Did you give her a suggestive look? Try suddle things. Dont expect it all to happen at once though. Let it build up little by little. Even if it takes weeks, little by little.
Some of the success stories on the MLC forum had the similar reaction initially however with time that went away and their H's caved.
Just be suddle about it. You know what to do.
I will give you a warning he may claim its just sex so you need to be ready to handle that, but dont worry about it too much. You just can't have "just sex" with your wife. They just say it to convince themselves. god will use that initmacy between you to build up the bond.
Redsawks44,
Maybe compliment her a bit. You mentioned her sitting on the couch suggestively. Did you give her a suggestive look? Try suddle things. Dont expect it all to happen at once though. Let it build up little by little. Even if it takes weeks, little by little.
Heart, now i am confused some people here say do NOT compliment her..
Well, we ML again yesterday. I just don't get it. HE initiated too. IT was nice. He's obviously VERY into it. Althought the night ends last night with him saying nothing has changed, he feels nothing towards me, and he knows his feelings won't change.
Do I keep having sex with him, hoping that THAT connection will at least be an opening. Or am I making myself a doormat. I just don't know.
We have no other people (no infedility in our sitch) so I feel like that is not a worry. I just don't know.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Well, we ML again yesterday. I just don't get it. HE initiated too. IT was nice. He's obviously VERY into it. Althought the night ends last night with him saying nothing has changed, he feels nothing towards me, and he knows his feelings won't change.
Do I keep having sex with him, hoping that THAT connection will at least be an opening. Or am I making myself a doormat. I just don't know.
We have no other people (no infedility in our sitch) so I feel like that is not a worry. I just don't know.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
From my experience and many others here, sex is often followed with "this doesn't change anything" or something along those lines. It's a very individual thing to decide to have sex or not. MY take is on keeping the connection. It's not emotional for him? He may SAY that, but we are also told to believe NOTHING that they say...and I'll choose that. I also think that great sex may keep him out of the arms of another woman. I KNOW there's a "friend", but I've got him in bed, and I'm not willing to hand that over to someone else. So, I make sure to keep it good, experiment some, bring out the toys, whatever I know will keep him thinking about me in the meantime.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
From my experience and many others here, sex is often followed with "this doesn't change anything" or something along those lines. It's a very individual thing to decide to have sex or not. MY take is on keeping the connection. It's not emotional for him? He may SAY that, but we are also told to believe NOTHING that they say...and I'll choose that. I also think that great sex may keep him out of the arms of another woman. I KNOW there's a "friend", but I've got him in bed, and I'm not willing to hand that over to someone else. So, I make sure to keep it good, experiment some, bring out the toys, whatever I know will keep him thinking about me in the meantime.
i wouldn't even know where to start right now.. too soon i guess.. but who knows.. do i just grab her and start kissing her..? (she'd probably kick me in the nuts)
I dont think raining compliments is good, but a tiny bit here and there would be good. Just start with some looks and see how those are received first. You don't have to follow what others say word for word. Some may not agree with my approach, but it works for my marriage. I am trying hard to follow what God has outlined in the Bible and I have found that I have hardly any regrets compared to when I listened to "everyone." Focus on your positives no matter how small.
7 Year Itch,
I would keep on. I did in my sitch and there was some interference but God sent that mountain back a LONG LONG LONG time ago! Praise The Lord! I think that our connection forced that other one to be incredibly week and break over and over and over. And like Ladybug said. I want to keep the marital bed pure. I no longer care what he says when its negative because actions speak louder than words. I am waiting for them then to match and hear "I love you." If you can detach yourself from the crazy stuff he may say then you will be ok. I love being able to show him I love him. My hubby has some other issues going on but I think he knows I will always be here for him and he wants that connection just as much as I do.
I have been very intimate with my husband and I don't plan to stop. It is a connection and afterwards he tells me how confused he is. I'll take being the one to confuse him. The bedroom has never been our problem area and if it remains good, then it is a connection to him.
His birthday was special in the morning. H had a little surprise from me. Big hug and kiss afterward and the "I'm just so confused right now." He says he loves me and always will, just unhappy and has to decide if how we live is how he wants to live.
I say if the opportunity arises (no pun intended) that you take advantage of it. It is NEVER just sex!
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I dont think raining compliments is good, but a tiny bit here and there would be good. Just start with some looks and see how those are received first. You don't have to follow what others say word for word. Some may not agree with my approach, but it works for my marriage. I am trying hard to follow what God has outlined in the Bible and I have found that I have hardly any regrets compared to when I listened to "everyone." Focus on your positives no matter how small.
7 Year Itch,
I would keep on. I did in my sitch and there was some interference but God sent that mountain back a LONG LONG LONG time ago! Praise The Lord! I think that our connection forced that other one to be incredibly week and break over and over and over. And like Ladybug said. I want to keep the marital bed pure. I no longer care what he says when its negative because actions speak louder than words. I am waiting for them then to match and hear "I love you." If you can detach yourself from the crazy stuff he may say then you will be ok. I love being able to show him I love him. My hubby has some other issues going on but I think he knows I will always be here for him and he wants that connection just as much as I do.
Like a "you look nice" here and there...?
She has started to actually look me in the eys again lately, as we've been getting along, still i don't see much hope
You look nice, you smell nice, I like when we're together, your hair is so shiny it catches the light, brush against her lightly, your skin is so soft.......
Baby steps.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
