Matilda, Piglet, and Lan, Thanks for nudging me along and providing me clarity about my situation. Piglet is right. It is a choice. I'm either going to make an effort to fulfill my role as a H or not. Rejecting my W's advances would be cruel. I couldn't bear the thought of doing harm to her or the M. I don't want a M to end because of my failure to do something that was within my influence.
I invited myself to sleep again with my W, and we cuddled again. If she pursues sex, I'll tell her that I'm out of practice, but won't decline it.
Dancing and writing poetry is the same way. You learn by doing it and making mistakes, and getting better.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I have to say that you've proved you can do anything well with a little practice! Good luck with restoring intimacy in your M.