On this day I will choose to be happy as I prepare to go see DD15. Today is her B-day. I got her a gold heart necklace/pendant which is inscribed on the back with "A daughter's worth is more than that of any jewel in the world". Plus I will probably pick her up a couple of gift cards to Walmart and/or Subway. Every time I am with her we wind up going to both of those places, they are by far her favorites. So I am hoping she will want to get together and do something today, but if not it will still be a special day since it is her b-day. Her foster mom is having a little party for her.
that is nice. hope she has a wonderful time, as well you.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
It just goes to show you how much a person's attitude drives whether or not they have a good day. I was determined to have a real good day today and it is turning out to be exactly that. I just got back from spending too short a time with DD15. I didn't get to stick around for the cook out/birthday party since I had to scram for my flight tonight. But I feel invigorated by spending the brief time with her that I did. And I could tell she was glad that I came over (especially since I vrought a bunch of presents ..lol). She was smiling and radiant. I have told her before that I am drawn to her because she sparkles and today she sure was sparkling. I am one happy and proud dad. I must have gotten about 5 or 6 hugs and I love you's. I guess I must be doing something right.
Just had to remember to boost DD15's age upwards. Very soon she won't need her old man in her way. I am mentally preparing for the rejection phase already as it is just around the corner. For now though she is happy to have me around .. or she was today. All you females like it when we are bearing gifts... lol. Actually, due to the fact that DD15 is developementally not as far along as her chronological age I may have a little bit of time before she turns into a full-fledged teen rebel.
Her gifts were:
1) 22k gold heart necklace w/ a smidgen of a diamond inlay and special "precious D" inscription on back
2) Some cool teenage stationery w/ Love, Live, Laugh theme
3) Vanilla scented body lotion
4) A $25 gift cert to Hot Topix
5) A bag of Dove dark chocolates
6) 1 greeting card fm me (+ after much debate I signed W's name)
It seems she refuses to leave me alone and insists on giving the dagger some additional turns in my back. Probably wants to toss some salt on the puncture wound as well. Or better still, how bout a little sulfuric acid.
I received a call a call from W in the last hour. She wished to express her gratitude for my offering up my hotel room for her use this week. Then she said thanks for helping her sister??? Which I had no clue as to what she meant. She then went on to explain that her sis, who has about as many medical issues as W does, was receiving treatments at a hospital not far from the hotel and so rather than having her sis drive back home she let her stay w/ her at the hotel tonight. So she was passing along a thank you from her sis as well. I guess her sis didn't wish to thank me herself on the phone ...probably lacked the backbone to do so. From snooping I discovered some not so endearing dialog between W and SIL with regards to me. During one of our many sep's W's sis told her that she should pretend to patch things up with me so that W could grab several thousand $'s of mine to pay for W's car repairs and then "boot me back to the curb ...hehehe". Nice SIL huh? Up until that point I had no ill feelings towards her and for the first few years of my M my SIL was grateful to have me helping to support and take care of her sis as she was dealing with a brain tumor diagnosis. I guess that has all been forgotten.
"it seems she refuses to leave me alone and insists on giving the dagger some additional turns in my back. Probably wants to toss some salt on the puncture wound as well. Or better still, how bout a little sulfuric acid." "I guess her sis didn't wish to thank me herself on the phone ...probably lacked the backbone to do so. "
okay now, you were just talking about preparing for a great day, and then you had one. This is doing just the opposite.
Remember that we need to speak in faith. I don't see what your W was doing that was causing dagger's to turn in your back. Are you talking about her calling you to thank you for the hotel??? This is comments that would come from one who was not DBing, and one who was in the early stages of their sitch.
Also, with your SIL... even though she said those things, it could have been just a joke. not that it was a funny joke. This is another reason not to snoop. Have you ever confronted SIL about that email? Of course if you went there, you'd have to face the consequences of snooping.
Much of what you are talking about it just speculation. Perhaps it is true, but most the time it's not.
Soo, after my 2x4s, I will leave you with this song I just wrote.
"Great is Jesus Lift Him High, Great is his love for my life, Great is his loving kindness He is everything to me, For he is my heavenly King
All I need is you, my Lord, Come and breath your life into my soul, All I need is you, my Lord, Come and lets sing unto the Lord,
Great is God in his mercy, Great is his everlasting peace Great is his steady faithfullness He is everything to me, For he is our mighty King,
All I need is you, my Lord, Come and breath your life into my soul, All I need is you, my Lord, Come and lets sing unto the Lord, I will sing unto the Lord, We will sing, for you, Lord.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I am just to the point where I have acute disdain and loathing for any interactions with a WAW who is in the midst of desecrating our M. She has herself static clung to her L and to her inner circle of family to include ex-H who are rooting and cheering her on to get the D. Because afterall I have been the one who robbed her of her happiness. Wait til she finds out what is waiting for her on the other side. Even with a steady flow of $ & gifts continually pouring in from ex-H, she will be haunted by the fact that our M ended the way that it did when it was plenty salvagable.
I see why you felt the need to break out the 2X4 but do keep in mind that my bitter rants have been limited to just venting on here were it is plenty safe to do. Sure, I may have a bitter tone during her infrequent calls but there are no rants or popping off of a hostile tongue. During her call last night my responses to what she was saying were just somber "uh huh's" & "yeap's" and then I ended by saying "your welcome ..bye". So, did I sound bitter?, I am sure I did. However, I am not about to pretend that I am not. I just don't have what it takes right now to put the 'happy phone face' on now. She vowed before God and our friends to spend all of her life with me (and NO, she was not drunk at the time) and now she has sold herself out to the highest bidder ..AKA ex-H. Which btw, his bid really is not that high. Hell, I could have afforded to have bought her a Kia Spectra which is all that he managed to get for her. Those little things are rather inexpensive.
On her next call, assuming there is one and she hasn't gotten the msg that I don't wish be friends with someone who doesn't know the first thing about loyalty and commitment, I will tell her that my heart can not be put through any more of this stuff. She has chosen to go spend her life with someone other than me so please delete my name from her cell for good. As I once said to her before, "I have two M's, so if you are choosing to end this one I will always remain M to the Lord." Selah.
It is time to go flop into bed and attempt to get some decent sleep as this weeks sleeping nightly arangement, while excellent for W, is taking its toll on me. I have a sleep defecitwhich is slowly mounting. I hope to chip away a little bit at it now as I yawnnn. ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Peace be in all of your hearts. Glorify the Lord in your actions and deeds.
The sleeping turned out ok today. And my doggie passed her heartworm test so I guess I will have my shedding hairy companion for some time to come.
The only other news of the day was that my Company suffered a crash today which cost the life of the pilot. That was a bit of a shock but I did not know the gentleman. He did leave a wife and two kids behind though. Some additional prayers to be said tonight.
