Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis How Much BS do I believe?!

we talked for 2.5 hrs- i was so COOL AND CALM in the face of HELL!
initially he said so should we get a lawyer or mediator or what? he teared up- i didnt.

i was quiet...just listened to him share - blame- and think there is no hope...
i said i understand a lot...uh huh- etc

then we talked about possibilities- i did- i brought up stats about D- law enforcement stats of D- he was interested...i kept asking what he thought about that- he just said he isnt sure and we have so many issues- blame..uh huh- i understand- the he said he was curious about stats...i said i refuse to be a stat.

i also brought up a website that i had heard f from a DB coach...with options instead of therpay...

then i said there are so many options we haven't tried...i cant stop you if thats what you want- i trust you know what you are doing- he said thanks that makes me feel good...ha!

i said dont you want to know if we have tried everything? this is a lot to give up...he said yeah but i dont know how we can overcome...blah blah blah- uh huh yes i know...

lots of fun jokes throughout and sidelines of humor and stories...lots of quiet too...

i said i was scared too- and i cant ever go through this again ether...i said i wouldnt take it back bc ive learned so much but i cant ever have this happen again either...

we said a lot of other stuff...
at the end he said well- i dont want to give you false hope and have you think that things will be ok...im not sure...i said thanks dont worry- :-)

he asked how much weight i had lost- ha!

then i said it was great to talk with you and good to see you...talk to ya soon!

so overall i think it went well- if he cant make any changes i dont want this marriage anyway - really...i love him but his progress is SO SLOW...he is still in blame phase...unreal immature sad.

i feel very good that we got that elephant out of the room.. he can file- i truly dont think it will scare me. he is way more scared and in fear mode than me. i am so strong.

GOOD NIGHT!

i also said take your time- this may take months- it took me months in the past to learn ow to overcome my anger, etc...so take your time...

we said so much- he did mot of the talking then i did a lot of cheerleading and possibilities....it was a very long walk...

i said this is a lot to take in...
no pressure

i still feel good today- sometimes you never know how you will feel but i really heard him and acknowledged him.

i also was quiet a lot but was able to say a lot of very important things.

i just cant believe he is so stuck....

if he cant change or do anything to grow i cant do much...i cant have him back and get kicked in the gut again...he will have to make some changes....

maybe there are small noes but the same old story is playing out...

blame how i was raised....g-d forbid we talk about how he was raised...

grow up! im just venting! im happy i had a lot of good things to say and not say too!

thanks!

ps. now do i go dark for a while and let him creep out and see the light?

It worked so far right?

hi JTB!

yes- then there was a wave of communication and our talk yesterday....
im sure we will have light communication regarding business stuff via email or text so we shall see....
i will let him reach out of his turtle shell...
he has brought up all R talk so far...and i have responded very well to everything.

my db coach said to be casual friends for now- but i think after this talk he needs to retreat and think- lord knows how long that may take- i sid take as long as you need so i need to honor that...

now is the time for space for me too- i am soooo exhausted from this!

thanks- just do what works

Good Lord you sound like you've got this down pat pisces! Good for you!!!

wow! thanks for thinking so highly of me :-)
i do feel good about our talk yesterday...

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

You absolutely need to be true to the words you use.

That's all we can do Pisces....one day at a time.