Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? ms ladybug SQUISHED!

Ladybug,

Does he have a girlfriend?

I don't know. I know he has a female friend, that he swears is just a friend. I also know that HE CANNOT BE ALONE. He has NEVER been alone, and he told me he wants female companionship. So, likely he has at least an interest.
Does it seem like it?

Ladybug:

I'm going on vacation for a week.

Please, PLEASE read "the 5 languages of apology". at least go to your local borders or whatever, and skim through it for 20 mins IF you dont do it now, it will be much MORE difficult for you down the road.
his feelings will cement, after a few more days(if they havent already ). then, instead of trying to "push your face through oatmeal", you'll be trying to chisel through concrete.

good luck. be brave.
be loving, without pushing, or having expectations back.
show love through actions, more than words.

Generally, if they don't have a girlfriend, despite hard feelings, they will start to soften in 3-7 days depending on when he is ready for sex again. If he is not getting nicer when he wants sex, and then getting mad again, he probably has a girlfriend.

Dom, you CAN'T go on vacation! Who do you think you are?

I KNOW the reaction I'll get if I apoligize. "You're only saying that because I'm gone."

I feel like after my text to him yesterday, anything I do now is going to seem desperate to him. Apoligizing, etc...

So ms ladybug you know what to do, don't you. If you were a guy I'd say "man up". What I mean is get control of yourself, your emotions, your actions...find your strength.

Sure you backslide, shoot we've all done it a million times and I can tell you after 19 months I've backslide my fair share. Has it brought the house caving in? At the time sometimes it seemed like yes but in the end it was just a setback and that's it. You can recover as long as you don't make it a habit. So take a deep breath and collect yourself and keep moving forward. And next time you feel like sending or saying something like this stop and ask yourself, how will this help him, me and us right now? If he does come around you'll know when it's ok to say or do things like this.

Today was the party for his grandma. It was SO hard to be there. It's hard to be around him and his family. He was OK toward me. Mostly ignored me, but wasn't terribly cold. He did ask me to pick up a gift card for his dad, and sign his name on everyone's cards. It felt nice to sign his name with mine and the kids, so that was good. He also reffered to me as his wife. He was giving his cousin our email address, and said, "this is my general email account, you know, my wife's account." I'm not sure why he gave her that account, instead of his private one that he opened when we split.

I cried on the way home, though , just becaue it was tough being there. Tomorrow's going to be hard too. I'm not going to church because I don't think I can stand a Father's Day celebration by myself. But, I'm meeting h and his parents for lunch with the kids. This should be interesting.

Finding my strength, WHERE catfan?? I'm falling to pieces.

Just checked our bank account online. Looks like he went to the movies the other night and paid for 2 tickets. Damn it!
I KNOW I'm not supposed to confront him about this....but why not?? No wonder he could care less about me. How easy for him to stop loving me when someone else is occupying his time. Damn it!!

And, he KNOWS I do the finances, and ALWAYS look at every transaction on-line. He knows I'd see that...

ms ladybug, I am so sorry. Staying positive is tough when they keep doing that junk. I think you just have to turn away, remember that you are doing the right thing, and working on being a good wife and at the end of the day he cant take that away from you no matter what he does.