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nlt

Thank you for the prayers. I don't think it is anything serious.

You have to realise that none of the things that happened during the D procedings were your fault. Unfortunately your H created it. You deserve to be taken care of and your L made sure of that. Your H will see that as time goes on when he faces his issues.

Y

gosh YR....

I"m thinking..really...they have to face these issues eventually....right???My H says he doesn't need help...that he is perfectly fine....he didn't leave because of another person but because of "us"...he had to be true to himself....that he deserved to be happy and he hasn't been happy with me for a very long time...that don't I understand...it's how he feels....

Today is my D's 16th birthday...H brought flowers over last night and put them in the door...then texted her to tell her they were there....and a card telling her he loves her more than she can imagine....

Called his mom the other night sad he was upset because D's aren't talking to them but that he will keep trying to get them to understand why he did this....this is why I am so convinced that he will not return...look at what he is telling people...as long as his kids understand why then he can move on with his new life....I guess I'm a little down today....but I am keeping the happy face and so on because it is D's 16th birthday....

I am taking her shopping and to dinner....we will have fun...just me and her.....

Got a call this morning that my SIL (who is my best friend & who H lives with) was taken to the hospital....so I went...saw MIL, FIL...whole family...I started to cry when I saw them...its the first I've seen them since Christmas....MIL was tell BIL...that sometimes in life things are tough...that she went through very tough times....(that was for me to hear I'm sure)....blah, blah, blah....she said to me..."you look pretty...I see you're not missing out on the sun"....I said...I am trying to keep busy...then she said she was leaving....she was mad a her daughter for being in the hospital...(she was there because she had drank & taken her meds and her blood alcohol level was sky high) I guess she was pretty bad...when I went in to the room she grabbed me and hugged me and we both started crying....I told her I missed her & that I loved her....she said the same...
Then her H was supposed to go out of town but said he wouldn't because she was going to be staying in the hospital...I offered to stay with her and take care of her....she is family and my best friend....

I stayed for a few hours and left....this is my family...my life...and it is all taken from me...I called H when I left and told him what was going on but he was too busy at work to even listen to what I was saying....was talking to others while I was talking to him....so I said I gotta go...bye....that was it...

Life is funny....SIL is obviously not stable...I knew she had a drinking problem but I thought it was resolved....guess not...her mom gets mad at her and puts a lot of pressure on them...maybe this has made its way to H's life and causing him to run from me cause he sees how she treats her H....yells all the time...FIL just sits there and takes it....they've been married 48 years....but I treated my H so good...I did everything for him...so why did he run???

I am lonely and I miss him and my extended family....what happens at Christmas when he brings OW to their house??? Don't know if I can handle that....

Sorry for the long post.....

Treese

Treese:

Please remember that they do not always realize what the heck they are saying, let alone doing!!

They are not in their right minds for some time. Just step back and let him be. Once you let him go, you will feel a bit better.

Think of him as having been abducted by aliens and he is not in his right mind.

Treese

Your H hasn't dealt with his issues at all yet. That is what it seems like to me. The less contact the better. My H said the same things to me. He told me to find someone else, he wanted me happy, he wanted happiness for himself and that he was tired.

I am sorry to hear about your SIL. I hope she finds help for herself.

Prayers to your family.

Y

I heard both of these things too. There have also moments where he actually lets me in a little bit to try and understand what he is going through.

In the past there was a day where he would tell me to find someone else. Then the next two times I would e questioned if I had found someone, if I had the oppurtunity, if someone is trying to talk to me, if so what did they say and lots of "Who, who, who, who."

Then on the same hand. If I call or text he does not always respond, yet when I do not call or text I get asked why I havn't. So then I make a bit of an effort to connect a bit then he is ok after a few days then starts ignoring me again or he just comes over instead of respinding, which I do like. It makes me crazy! I was doing good. I should have kept on just not calling or texting.

Yellowrose did your hubby ever not respond to a text or call and explain later why he did that. I just dont get it.

Oh another thing. Has the doctor tested your electrolytes? Its sounds like they are off balanced. Try drinking Gatorade and eating chicken soup. Those replensih your electrolytes and your sodium and minerals. They are also easy on an uneasy belly. Sometimes we dont have enough of those in our systems and it throws everything off. This happened to my dad who drank TOO much water.

Treese, I am sorry to hear about your SIL. I pray she gets better soon.

Heartscared

Yes my H did not respond to alot of calls. He said he didn't want to be bothered at the time or he got nasty and tell me what he is doing was none of my business. I guess it was his way of cutting us off. I stopped calling him even when someone was sick or something came up that he needed to deal with. He would ask me why I didn't call him anymore or why I didn't call when something came up. My reply was what for? You never call back anyway.

Thanks for the suggestions on the electrolytes. I have been tested for everything over and over again. At least I know that my kidneys, liver, gall bladder, etc are in good shape!! LOL

Y

I sure hope he will realize that soon! I know I'm not being very patient but I'm having a rough afternoon. If you have time you can read my last post, I won't go into it here just b/c I don't want to threadjack.

Thank you for your encouraging words. I know it takes a long time but I thought once he got out there with OW that he didn't know things might turn around. I was very nosy in the beginning & he knows that I snooped. Well he knows I got into his emails at work & he threatened to press criminal charges against me, but he didn't so that probably made him mad too that I did that.

I was hoping that he would see I was stronger than he thought I was even tho that went against him. I also figured out how to see all his credit cards, I'm not sure he knows that or not I think he might have figured it out. Of course I can't see them anymore.

Just having a rough afternoon.

Hope you are feeling better!

(((HUGS)))

Treese Christmas, isn't that in December? Stop worrying about the future. Focus on the now that is all you have. Treese my h rarely answers his phone or sends an e-mail. I stopped calling him now, just for that reason. He is so predictable. I know exactly when he calls. Yawn Yawn, I am so bored! I need some spice in my life!

I won't survive another year!

YR;

I got that too the other day when I was in my rage....I hate his frickin phone....he was like hiding and I said what you trying to hide to use the phone now....and he said, "why do you care anyway...it's none of your business....I do care...just don't do it in front of me that's all I ask....I think he does it on purpose to tell you the truth...

Heart.....my husband would NEVER ask if I was seeing anyone or care..sometimes I wish he would ask..I remember a while back and I was telling him I hated him staying with OW and blah, blah, blah...and he said.."I don't ask where you are or what you're doing...you could be sleeping with someone for all I know".....he knows darn well I'm not doing that nor would I that's why he is so secure in everything he is doing.....it's time to create some mystery....I don't mean make him jealous cause he's so not the jealous type but just not be here when he comes over or answer his calls...wait...he doesn't come over very much and he NEVER calls me....I mentioned to him the other day that I haven't bothered him or called him and he said I know...that's what we're supposed to do we're separated....hhhhhhhuuuhhhhhhh...like talking to a wall...a brick wall.....

and yr....you're right he hasn't faced anything yet...the only thing that he has mentioned to his mom was the fact that the girls aren't talking to him....

I just got home from taking D16 to dinner and shopping....6 hours of us shopping and eating....and H missed out on everything..didn't even come over to see her....and she only turns 16 once...very sad..his loss....we on the other hand made memories that only she and I will remember....

and....thanks for the good thoughts about SIL...she really needs some help....I hope she gets it also....

Treese

Glam:

I know I have to quit looking in to the future....and I to know my H like a book...he always sends an email the day after he spent the night with OW...hmmmm......guilt?? It does get old doesn't it....