((((Mary)))) Thinking of you today. Ellie had some awesome advice for you (as always, Ellie ).
I wanted to re-post sgctox's last post on your old thread because I thought it was great and worth repeating.
Quote:
(from sgctox) OK, Maryangela--
Do you see how this goes? Can you step back and take a look at the big picture?
This is what we talk about ACT AS IF in Michele's book.
If you ACT AS IF he is going to get custody.....you freak out and make it a self-fulfilling prophesy.
ACT AS IF you are in control of yourself and the situation. Eat. Nurture yourself. Visit your daughter.......lobby against so little visitation..........not in an omg way, but how it isn't good for your daughter.
When you are with your daughter...........be a lot of fun for her. Don't worry.
I want you to start a NEW THREAD, with a POSITIVE mantra.
I want you to show you are in control on your thread. When someone tells you to calm down, don't go on and on about why you're still worried. TELL US what steps you are doing to nurture yourself. PRACTICE ON US......It will show up in real life on your face and your demeanor. YOU CAN.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
NEWS!!!!! ok, I was the queen of calm, composed and serene from beginning to end. I spoke with law guardian, just was truthful and calm and didn't say bad things about h, just kept the focus on d. then the judge ONLY wanted the lawyers and the law advocate and social services in the courtroom. h and I were not allowed in. after a half hour, my lawyer came out. the 2 lawyers went into a conferene room. when my lawyer came out and we left the courthouse, he basically said that he told h's lawyer that because social services basically came up unfounded against me, the law advocate didn't feel there was a problem, that in the end h would never get sole custody and that even h's lawyer at that point agreed.
so, my lawyer told h's lawyer that he better talk to his client, is giving him until monday to make a decision and then WE would file a motion of our own against h.
So I get home. the phone rings. it's h. He said. "enough, truce. my lawyer advised me that neither one of us will get sole custody and it's just going to cost us time and money that we don't have. so let's do what we agreed. she'll go to summer camp near here, you'll have her on the weekends. then come the 3rd week of August, she be back with you monday through friday in time for school. He ALSO said, he is putting it in writing to send to both lawyers and will call the school on Monday so they can pick out a Kindergarten teacher.
What is so funny, is I was beginning to doubt my lawyers abilities, but in the end, everything he said was true! Basically, h's lawyer had to "fess up" that there really was no case strong enough and it's just going to cost BOTH of us (mostly h) too much money and just stick to our original custody arrangement.
The relief I feel is unbelievable.
I know I sounded horrible yesterday, but I was so scared. both laywers know the plan and the judge will go along.
I feel like I'm dreaming. thank you for your support everyone. thank you so much.
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