Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Walk-Away-Spouse Does a WAW want you to fight for them?

Nope and never will. Personally, everyone that I have known that has 'walked' away, split up, etc. was NEVER due to an affair. It was simply lack of communication between the two individuals.

There is nor ever will be another OM in my life as long as I'm married to my H- separated or living together. That to me is a personal sign of weakness. People don't want to look in the mirror and face things, so they run away from it, run to things that 'make them happy'. I'm no exception to running away, but it's a boundary that I will never cross, ever. I have too much self respect for that. I love my H dearly, won't have married him if I didn't. I miss him.

And I seriously doubt that my H has or would ever do the same.

She indicated she doesn't mind you coming along to her bd event. Does all of her friends know that you are separated?

Hello Failycrazy,

Yes, all of her friends do know we are separted.

I am sure me, along with a lot of others, would like to get that reassurance from thier WA or LB that there isnt or wont be but you cant predict the future. I know my W when she first filed said "there wont be anyone for a long time; you will be my only husband; maybe in five years we would have got a chance to really know each other; etc".

Im sure I have said things to her that at the time i felt, but I feel I am changing everyday to try and be friends although it tears me up to let go of her. But then you read posts on here where ppl say 9 out of 10 walk because of an affair. So I dont know, want to know but not really what the heck is going through her head and what that miracle is going to be to show her our M is worth it no matter what I have done or what she has done.

I second that jandn,About OM in picture,would like some possible insight also-Mike

Went to w bday party last night. It went really well I think. I had a great time with all our friends. She loved the video(compilation of pictures of her life) I gave her. I made sure that I was happy and upbeat. I talked to everyone and danced with a few of our friends.

Early during the night, I gave the w a hug. She responded with you can't be hanging on me like that. I said no problem I understand. Being sure to not look disappointed and all. Later that night I asked her to dance and she said yes. So we slow danced to a song, and danced to a few others. We never talked about the relationship or anything. We just had a good time. She left about a half hour before me.

On my way home I was going to send her a txt thanking her for a wonderful night, but I didn't. I thought we had a great night, we will leave it at that. To my surprise, after I fell a sleep she sent me a txt saying "Thank you for the video I did like it very much."

So this morning, I responded, I am so happy you liked it, I was reaaly excited to give it to you.
She responded" I wish you would have gave it to me at home. Doing that in front of everyone was uncomfortable."
I responded "I just think a gift like that is better in front of friends and family. Didn't intend to make you uncomfortable."

She responed " I agree, but not when we are going through a Divorce." I didn't respond.


So today, I am taking her to dinner to give her the present for our daughter. It will be the three of us.

She called about an hour after her last txt above to ask what time we are going and what time my softball games are?. I said I don't care what ever works best for her, and I am skipping the games to celebrate your bday. That is something I never would have done in the past. But I am trying to show her that she is my priority, and that I am changing.

Sorry for rambling, any thoughts?

WAW dropped bomb shell 1st feb this year. Said she had been emotionally absent from the r for over a year and moved out 7 weeks later after seven weeks of excellent relationship

Still get on really well invites me round go out do stuff with our children and on our own.

BUT has OM whom she slept with 3 weeks after moving out. Distance relationship so she has only seem him three times in 2 months. Breaks me apart and really makes me want to give up.

So much i probably already have.

To the WAWs, when my WAW brings up D talk again, and says the usual lines (independence, need to find self, not happy, both our faults), how do I respond lovingly as a friend? I try not to talk about what I am doing during these talks and I feel my tone and demeanour during the talks is one of understanding but might be interpreted as throwing in the towel. I feel she is moving too fast and am wondering if I started LRT too fast. It was completely uncharacteristic of me to immediately seek counseling, do my 180s, PMA about the sitch etc..

Thoughts?

Can somebody check out my thread on what happened this weekend with my WAW. I dont know if she wants me to fight or what. Really confused, thanks.

Just an update on my sit.
Sunday meet the w at her work to get a book shelf. The plan was to meet at her work and get the shelf and go to dinner. We spent a couple hours at her work, while she did some odds and ins. Just had small talk about her job and our daughter. She ask if we could go to dinner later in the week, because she was not hungry. I said no problem. She was nice but a little guarded I could tell. The night before was wonderful, but I could sense she was worried about the false hope thing. After all she is totally addiment about the divorce.

I didn't her from her yesterday until about 6:30 PM. She called to ask me if the driving range was open. Kills me because I love to golf and can no longer afford to because of s, and would love to go with her. She was playing in a golf outing today. She doesn't really like golf but plays in a few a year with work friends.

I wished her luck playing today, and we spoke about my parents a little. They driving me nuts, no helping my sit at all. Dropping comments and such. This week it was, My mom told me my daughter told her that my w thinks grandma lets her watch to much TV. D stays the night once a week to help daycare cost. I ended the staying the night after that comment. My w says she did not say that, and I do believe her. Of course my parents feel sorry for me and are angry with my w. Don't seem to agree with me be nice to her.
Thursday is our Aniversary, I ask if she wanted to meet for dinner with no strings attached. She said she is busy, has to get her hair done. I said Fine, Friend ask me to go to the baseball game so I going then.
I think its time for LRT.