so the light is right around the corner? he really has shown a lot of guilt and sadness...but he is "acting as if" as well when we talk...he is good at that- stuffs his emotions- for me it was a 180- im a totally emotional gal (hence the pisces!)...
so I guess we shall see...
DAY BY DAY!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Need advice! my husband is back in town and he has started to pursue me. he had to cancel last minute the other night- bc he is an alien and sad and confused- i got very quiet but not angry. he emailed me and texted me to apologize profusely. he said he wants to talk to me and see me and he is not trying to avoid me.
i waited til today and called and left a mess saying thanks for the apology (very upbeat) and hope to see him soon.
he then texts me asking me to go to lunch. i didn't reply yet.
im looking at this a baby steps. trying to not get excited (overly) and trying to be patient with my replies.
what do i do? clearly he is missing me- he would not have continued to apologize and then reach out again to see me.
i need to check my emotions as i feel a little nervous... thanks!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
thanks! well i ate already at my office- im sure we would have a good time...we always do. can i reply and say i just got your message, super busy, would love to have luch tomorrow? i do want to see him- im getting confused with the distance thing and pursuing .... and scared he will say something bad.
thanks!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
There are predictable phases to this? My H is definitely still in the anger phase; it's been about a month. I wouldn't be surprised to hear him say that I was the cause of 9/11, hurricane Katrina and a tsunami or 2, because it wouldn't be much of a stretch from what he's been saying. So--what are some other phases, so I know what to look forward to (ironic humor, there)?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
You don't want to know the phases. They are not in any order and they can bounce back and forth between them, there is no set order. Anger one day, denial the next, anger again.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
jack- you have such good advice- can you help me with seeing the bigger picture? do you think he is reaching out b/c??? wants me? misses me? not sure? should i not try to predict anything? just stay PMA and take each day? thanks!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
jack- you have such good advice- can you help me with seeing the bigger picture? do you think he is reaching out b/c??? wants me? misses me? not sure? should i not try to predict anything? just stay PMA and take each day?
Thanks its from the book and the site. Other say the same things. Bigger picture. What do you want, match your actions toward that goal. I don't know why he is doing what he is doing, but the important thing is if you like what he is doing then keep up what you are doing. Make sense? Should I try not predict anything...BINGO!!! You will be dissappointed if you do. You will have expectations if you do, and unmet expectations suck. Stay PMA and take each day...YES! See you don't need me, you just needed some validation. Which we can supply for a little while, until you no longer need it.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
thank you! validation does feel good and i think i need quite a bit right now! i will just keep plugging away one day at a time. i appreciate all the time you put into replies. it really calms me down! thanks!!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
