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Hi G! How's it going with you? I'll check everyone out tomorrow. I bought 5 books so now I'm off to read some.

Jen

Jen,

Welcome back.....that is so cool about surprising your Mom + Dad. I didn't realize this was a surprise visit. We surprised my Mom for Thanksgiving this past year....it was a wonderful feeling.

Sorry to hear about the heated conversation with H

Hi TD! Thanks.

I finally asked h to stop being friends with the woman he had a mini EA with in January. I told him that if he wanted to be friends with me then he had to choose. He agreed and last night he called her to tell her they couldn't be friends anymore. So now my goal is to show him this was the right decision and we can be good friends.

Jen

Jen,

Excellent!!!!!!! That was huge, it shows that your friendship means a lot to him, particularly when you are coming from a position of little leverage (him wanting a D, you wanting it to work). I am very happy for you. Don't be surprised if he gets a little down or even tries to contact her a little bit. These EAs can be very hard to let go of.....been there done that.

Now you know what you need to do, be his best friend without being clingy and no R talks. This sounds like the blow out you were talking about couldn't have been too bad, I was worried a little bit.

(((((Jen)))))

Great to have you back! I'm so glad you had a wonderful trip home. How did it feel being home after so many years? Awesome surprise for your Mom and Dad.

Good to hear you didn't initiate contact with H while you were away. It's unfortunate you two had a blow out upon your return. These EAs/PAs are so hard to deal with.

Hi

A large part of the blow out was the issue with her. I know she's not to blame for our R downfall because we've gone through problems before. However, i cannot bear for him to be friends with her. He knows it bothers me.

Another issue was he suggested I move back to Canada, get settled and then D would move with me. I told him I didn't trust him to do this and proceeded to tell him I hated him (repeatedly). He said we would alternate years with D. That was ridiculous though because the school systems are different and she'd graduate very late. We got upset with each other. The only option which I kept to myself is for her to be schooled in Canada and spend Summers in Venezuela. After about 45 minutes we calmed down. He proceeds to tell me that he doesn't want me to move to Canada and he wants me to stay. WTF The only reason I came here was to be with H. Without H I have no reason to stay.

In a big nutshell thats the jist of the convo.

Jen

Hi Addie

It felt so wonderful. I can honestly say I wanted to stay there. I may actually move there if somethings can go my way ie. H letting D move with me and spend Summers with him. Although I haven't broached the subject yet.

Jen

Jen, your sitch is so much like mine. The only reason I moved across the country last fall was for H. Now, I'm moving back in the next couple of weeks.

Do what is right for YOU and D. It's a little trickier in your sitch since you are in another country and may not be able to take D without H's consent.

Hey Jen!

What's this I smell? An R talk?!!!

Sounds like H isn't thinking with a lot of clarity right now- the whole moving/staying and Canada thing is a bit whacked!

Glad you had a good trip though! And do what you need to do for you. I think H saying that he wants you to stay is interesting though- he is still confused, obviously, which is why his actions don't match what he says properly!

((((hugs)))) So glad to see you again!

L. xx

Hi Lisa

Got suckered into it I'm afraid. He uses D as the reason why he doesn't want me to leave. I know he cares and is saddened by this. For me it just seems much easier than he thinks it is.

Nice to be back and see everyone again too.

Jen