Yesterday was a bit rubbish interms of feelings but I seemed to manage to pull myself together a bit in the evening and am feeling better today. I really have to be ok for tomorrow as I have a really big meeting at work.
Still nothing from h but I think that's a good thing... the last text scared me and I need time to recoup.
How are you doing? At least there is a bit of sun today...
Glad you are doing better this evening. I know what you mean about meetings. Sometimes I just dread them. I find myself ok for about 30 minutes and then I just want to get out of the meeting and get away from people in general. I heop it ends up being a good day for you.
Mine is going pretty good so far....we will see what time brings
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Thanks for your message. I read your thread yesterday and it all sounds positive at the mo - that's really good. You are right, see what time brings.
The meeting should be pretty tough tomorrow as I am supposed to be taking minutes and it's all scientific talk which I don't really understand so I have to really concentrate - and apparently contribute to. The only problem is that I have the concentration span of a goldfish at the moment! :-) Ah well, tomorrow is another day.
Keep up your good work! I'm really pleased things are better.
I appreciate you stopping by.....I wonder if I am just talking to myself (which isn't a bad thing) since hardly anyone ever replies.
Try to pysch yourself up for it. Act as if etc. It can't hurt to try. I feel fortunate to be at a job where my supervisors know and are very understanding of my current uselessness.
It was funny, during my mid year review I told my boss that I am sorry I haven't been doing a very good job lately, my mind has just not been here. His reply was, that is ok we don't need you mind to be here for you to do a good job!
It just made me laugh....what he meant was that I had already done a lot of work to get some project running right and now they are just running themselves.
Think positively and the meeting might go just fine. I have had a couple lately where It really helped me to focus somewhere else at least for a little while
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Glad you're feeling better today. I hope your day continued to go well, and that the meeting goes REALLY well tomorrow- scientific meeting minutes- sounds intriguing!
I'm OK. My H is a bit withdrawn at the moment so I'm trying to leave him alone. It's tough as we've been making some progress recently, but hopefully he'll come back stronger!
:-) intriguing or seriously seriously boring!! I have a suspicion that it'll be the latter.
I think you have the right way of thinking. I've found men tend to withdraw a bit when they are processing stuff. Keep taking things slow, it sounds like you are doing the right thing but it still instills a bit of panic when it happens. Be strong, don't let it show!
No news from h... the meeting was 4 and a half hours long (it was supposed to be an hour). And I have to say by the end of it I was exhausted and losing the will to live as it was so boring!
I can't seem to find your thread... can you send me a link?
Most of my threads have had links to the last thread posted in the first post (except my last thread/one before, but if you right click over my name you should be able to search my posts and go back in time. I'll post all links to previous threads when I open my next one. It's a LOT of threads!
Have a FAB day today- sorry the meeting went on so long yesterday. Sounds like the chairperson wasn't very good!
I don't know whether I am just having a bad day or what but sometimes I do wonder what I am doing? Is everyone else right and I am wrong? i.e. - I am only 26 and should just move on with my life.
Still no news from h.
I had a strange weekend as I spent it with two friends from university and their boyfriend/ husband. The six of us used to spend time together until my h got ill and then they kind of left us out when we couldn't join in with everything, actually at the time I felt a little abandoned by them.
The strange thing was observing what couples were like again as it has been a while since I have been around couples. I did feel like a spare part but it was nice to spend time with them. I do miss that little world that you have when you are with the person you love; I miss my life with H. People keep saying to me that is all very well but it has been a long time since your life was like that. Does that mean that it never can be again? I feel like I am facing an impenetrable wall: my husband. At the moment he is
-living rent free in a gorgeous flat in a trendy part of London -is obsessed by his job -is increasingly into porn on the internet -is having a potential ea or is sexually involved with a woman from his work -is not interested in looking after himself or his health -cannot communicate with me and is self obsessed when he does -he repeatedly says he has nothing left to give me and does not even want to try. But did once say he wasn’t ready to give up but I think he was saying that to pacify me before my holiday as it was when I came back and found out about the potential ea that he said he couldn’t carry on.
What am I doing?! Those are the cold hard facts of now. I feel like I have discovered divorce busting too late. I spent 6 months doing everything wrong. I didn't give him a chance to miss me and I feel like now it has been so long he won't miss me because he won't remember what it was like. At least before Christmas he was still like the old h in his ways with me. Now I might as well be a business colleague.
I am looking for one small thing to keep me going and it is just not happening. I know that I have to have patience but I am tired of waking up every morning and feeling like s***. I am tired of having people feel sorry for me like I am a delusional fool and thinking that they know I would be happier if I just moved on with my life. Would I? Are they right? Inside I really don't feel like I would as I love my h and take my vows to him very seriously but I just don't know what to do for the best. Of course I would find some kind of happiness if I did close this chapter of my life but I want the life I chose for myself i.e. with the man I love. I just hate that I might not have any choice in the matter.
