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Well said Heartscared!

Y

Treese, It's never too late to do things differently or to do a 180. Hang in there. If you ask God for strength and wisdom for your situation, and have faith in Him and put it in His Hands, He will give you the strength and wisdom you need.
-PH

Thanks girls.....

right now I feel like I totally blew it and he seemed so sincere in that he's not coming home...I'm sick to my stomach actually..and my head is pounding...I'm so afraid....I've done so well with not bringing anything up....I don't want a divorce....but I think he has his mind made up...I will try to detach and not say a word....

one thing that is sticking in my head is that he couldn't tell me if he was happy or not...Is that just because he didn't want to hurt me anymore or is he really not as happy as he appears?

And I know everyone has heard the same things....but gosh it feels so true and he said he has no feelings for me...and he can't even give me a hug? Why? Is he afraid I will hang on? Afraid of feeling something? Am I fooling myself?

Thanks PH.....

I will put it in Gods hands....I thought I was doing that already...I've been praying for strength....I guess I'm just very weak.....

Thanks YR I was led to write those words.

Treese,

If you dont want that negative outcome then you need to stop even saying it or thinking about it or being afraid of it. Just act like that word does not exist at all. It has no place in your life, marriage or thoughts.

Focus on what you want in your marriage. Take that to God. Don't tell your hubby. Tell God what you want.

The thing that kept me from fussing with my hubby was that when we fuss with them it sends them further in the wrong direction. I wanted to keep mine close to me. So I stopped fussing. I has some moments but for the most part I stopped. If I was being nice and cordial he had NOTHING to complain about, NOTHING to fuss about it. It showed. If someone asked him about me he just said he didnt want to talk about it because there was not anything negative to say.

So you had a moment today. Thats ok. Everyone has moments. You get to see hubby again tomorrow and again after that. You wills till have plenty of interactions with him to make sure those are all positive friendly interactions.

Don't think that the things he said right now are set in stone. God is no respector of persons. He changes the hearts of kings, he can change your hubby's. God restores all sorts of marriages he will restore your too. Just take it to Him. Take the focus OFF of hubby. Let God have him. Ask God how He wants to mold you and work on your relationship with Him.

QUIT SNATCHING HUBBY BACK FROM GOD!!!!! Take him to God and leave him there. When God has done all He needs to He will bring him back home.

I had to learn to stop doing that too. It was hard but you can do it.

(((((Treese))))))

The reason he sounded like he believed everything he said is because he does believe it, right now! It doesn't mean it's true, and it doesn't mean he'll believe it forever. You asked if he was happy, and he didn't answer. That's because a part of him is NOT happy. But he can't say, that, can he? His pride would take a beating. That's one thing that can make this take a long time, even once he starts on the road back (and he isn't on that road yet). He will be fighting an internal battle with his pride, and it is going to be ugly. It will tear him apart. I can't tell you whether he can get through that, or not. Some can, some can't. But that is totally out or your control. But, you saying things that put guilt on him will make it harder. (I don't think what you did today made any difference, since he isn't on the say back now, anyway.)

(((((Treese)))))

You are strong. A lot of people could not have come as far as you have, and still have the love for him, and the ability to forgive him, that you do. You continue to amaze me with that. Just move the focus to you, so that your feelings for him don't destroy you, in the near term. I'll be here, as always....

Treese

Everyone has given you great advice. Let go and let God!

Look at what happened to me and my sitch. It took time but my H has made it back to me and our family. When I finally let go and gave it to God I found such peace in my life.

I know how much your H's words hurt you. My H used to tell me that he wanted a D. He said he was happoer than ever but I could see it in his dead eyes that wasn't true. He wouldn't hug me either, God forbid that I accidently touch him or brushed by him. He would act like he was on fire!!!

This is just another part of MLC. You will be okay, you will make it. One day at a time@

Y

Well.....I so appreciate all of you....you are what is getting me through this...you listen..and you don't judge....I really can't even begin to tell you how I appreciate it....It is beyond words...

My D15 just came running up to tell me that H had just emailed her and her sister...apologizing for hurting them...I must have struck a nerve....maybe he does have a heart after all....

And Heart...you are right I do keep stealing him back from God...that was exactly what I've been doing...I just keep trying to hang on....

I then remembered a prayer card I have on my refrigerator...here is what it says......

Hugs to all of you....I pray for everyone daily....

LET GO AND LET GOD

As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
becaues he was my friend.
But then, instead of leaving Him
in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and
cried, "How can you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could
I do? You never did let go."

So I let go today....I let God take it to mend....

Treese

Treese

Yep, you must have struck a nerve today. Maybe opened up his eyes some.

Have a good night. H came home early and then told me he has tomorrow off. I'll check on you tomorrow.

Y

Treese, I thought they all said "I am never coming home". You can't believe a word he is saying right now. It sounded like you came across very clingy and desperate, but forget it tommorrow is a new day.

Be strong and courageous. It's like riding a bike just jump back on and get moving in a different direction.