Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Walk-Away-Spouse Oh Hum seems to be a thing to do

PS - Its not that I ask you share intimate details as to why your marriage is failing.

But its important that you realize why she wants out of the relationship if you are going to do anything about it.

understand ?
Not so much understand as wonder why I can get a counciling appointment in 24 hrs and I was not the one who was suffering, was she not able to I would have gone, what did I do not listen and understand she gave me a book I am terribly dyslexic it takes me weeks to read and comprehend but that was and is why.
I could not read and comprehend and I don't listen and am not doing my carrier so I got fat and lacked focus.

re reading that that sounds like a self pitying idiot sorry about that, yes I have been lazy and unfocused and yes I have put on a lot of pounds right now I am trying to find a focus and reason but that could be months developing who knows I just wanted to vent I think, I dont know why the change has been so dramatic but as we know I either will or may never find out the whole truth I am told I am a great friend by her but this seems like a crisis thats happening to her not me, she seems to be looking for some missing thing that will make her complete she has started a number of groups on the internet ? looking to move out to rid her of her old home running away from me or her? one things for sure I am not in the plan right now

another week and no real difference both of us speak laugh cry a bit sometimes she is looking for apartment I am trying to buy my home.
just I don't have any idea whats next I need to talk to a solicitor but I can't really afford one, I should be seeing one as we have gone no where, but no news is good news but I think I may be getting papers served but that could be paranoia
Yep I have stalled cant talk to her except about me keeping the dogs or checking account but no talk about us I am trying not to push its hard.

I know how you fel and it sucks.

My wife did the same thing a few months ago. I 180'd the instance she dropped the bomb so she stayed for 2 months and and she saw massive and profound changes in me (for me i might add). She still left.

Once they are going that's it. They HAVE to leave. It's what happens then that is the the question. My wife is 1 km away and we have alot of contact.

Defineately do not persue in her any way. Try for an autopsy of what went wrong in the relationship. Try and support her. Try and be up beat.

Read as much about waw as you can.

Let her do her thing cos you can't stop her.

yeah I always said if you don't want to be here then leave, shame n all, just doing it day to day

Deepdive....I sense tremendous despair and sadness. Understandably. But our W's are bloodhounds. They sniff out anger and all that other crap. Would you want to be married to someone who lost the zeal for life?

It's time to get going.

Being overweight is a warning sign (I am an MD).I am not taking you to task on this but if inactivity and loss of living life to the fullest eluded you, then it's time to start making those changes that everyone has been talking about. I was never obese but I put on the mid 40's stuff and lost 35lbs (yeah....this D stuff helped, sadly).

If your W has decided to bail, there really isn't anything you can do to CHANGE THEM or CONTROL THEM. The only control YOU have is over your attitude and actions.


Why are you doing either? Why are you ignoring your W if you want her to stay? Discussing R talk won't help either. All you'll get are the responses that you've heard and don't want to hear.


Is this what you would call exciting? attractive? Was this what you did when you married her? I suggest you Google "being attractive to your wife" and see what you come up with and start reading.


Does this mean things weren't getting done around the house? Have you read the book The Five Love Languages? Was your W's tank 'empty' because she was filled by 'actions'?

Deep..it is time for you to get up and start to make some radical changes in your life. Stop the R talk. Don't sell her on your changes. She will note them if you are true to yourself.

Get going.
FIB

OK so I was a action hero (lol) I was a decisive independent bloke I had moved all over the world and lived a life most would have never given up, I met and moved here and married a wonderful lady.
Then I quit and got the 9/5 going but I had to really but I lost my mojo then:), to be honest I was looking for a person to help me be myself but instead I think I became depressed with how my first promised life readily became reality and I had to face my own limits, before I was always able to move on now I chose to stay and in doing slowly stopped being the person I was I lost my own self-respect and stopped trying I guess I wanted to find a purpose I really did quit so now I am paying the price

You've been given a chance to see where you lost view. This is not failure...this is a lesson in life. FIB

That is very true but it still may be some thing that will remain missing, I am no longer the same person that was able to to do my old profession when that discussion was done and I stopped, I stopped having my goal and focus and I let it all slide and now with the clarity of hindsight it was wrong but it was also my decision to make, no one but me to blame and no one but me to pick up the pieces, which was not my plan but it is now:) as you said balls in my court I am faced with a lot of tough roads, my fitness my self esteem and so on, non came easy but were easy to lose.