Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Depressed H walked out- similar to MLC?

Thanks Peace!
that is my plan! Give him 100% control and power (make him feel that he is control)...
Validate and Listen..I think he is already shocked at my behavior..nice, sweet, calm , collected, happy....i think he is expecting a wreck or anger or meanness...what a weirdo. I just get to be 100% in control of ME!


No R talks, NO ILY's...

Lots of "what do you think?" and OK, YES, etc.

shut my trap and LISTEN :-)

ill let ya know how it goes....

calmly~ Pisces

ok
we talked for about 20 mins.

talked a lot about him, him, him..
he cleared up a lot about house- he said its our decision too- after i had said whatever he wanted to do was fine..so i said it sounds like either counter or not right? he said right- i said lets go with your gut instinct and not counter...i also said i dont want to sell it at all and he said then what will we do with it- i changed the subject and said lets just go with your gut instinct...

we talked about his $$ (as he had !surprise! stopped Direct Deposit) he said (muttered) that he stopped DD for Protection (what an alien) but he will deposit tomorrow...i said ok i understand...please keep me in the loop if you change anything, he said you too- i said NO changes planned...everything is the same. He is in such FEAR mode...

then i sort of backslid-
i think he eluded to him being out of town and when he gets back we should talk about things...i said what are you thinking about things? he said im still here....i mean, im still in the same line of thinking....how about you? he didnt say D or anything remotely like that- cant even say the words..

i said processing a lot, learning a lot about myself, some major realizations....

he said well im happy to hear you are doing so well....i said ok- call me when you want to get together- he said he will cal fri or sat to set something up.


UGH. not feeling very positive although we had some good laughs and i stroked his ego a lot.

so sad...where did he go?? just left.....gone away...poor guy- i really do have symnpathy for him and it HURTS me.

any thoughts?

Pisces

I had a DB coaching session today...it was very helpful.

#1) H needs to be ENCOURAGED very slowly...

#2) I need to HOLD TIGHT.

So overall a good amount of new stuff to take in...
i am still having a very emotional day bc it brought up how much i do love him....

he said he would call me this weekend to get together...so when he does i will have a lot of things to say in case of any thing brught up by him.

one day at a time :-)

Pisces

what do i do when a bad/sad/mad wave hits? i get so down in the dumps and desparate i want to run to (call/text) my H crying and telling him how much i love him.
but i dont- i just come here, call a friend, cry, trudge through my day until the day is over...

what else can i do?

thanks