Jak, Matilda, and Piecing Friends, Poetry seems to be a more natural way for me to read and write. Reading poetry forces you to slow down, and pay attention. In order to write, one has to be able to slow down enough and calm the ruminative mind.
I found a helpful anthology to explore different poets. It is The Discovery of Poetry by Frances Mayes.
I seem to be writing mostly about struggles with the mental hindrances--desire, annoyance, doubt, restlessness, and sluggishness. The context of these struggles are mostly relational and in the dance community.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Jak, Matilda, and Piecing Friends, I had a good weekend of dancing. On Friday night I went with my W to a venue, and was busy most of the night. Of course things are never perfect, and I use my poetry to help me with feelings of disappointment. I wasn't turned down but, some ladies dance with you to be polite, even though you're not their "cup of tea."
On Sunday, I accompanied my W to a dance conventiion, and took a few classes. My W didn't stay for the evening dance, but I stayed as a favor to the organizer, who said men were needed.
I again was busy, and danced with my regular network, some beginner ladies who were sitting, and added a few more experienced ladies to my network, who I intend to ask again.
One of my poems was about chemistry on the dance floor. One has to accept that not everyone is going to want to dance with you. In an ideal world, all our desires would be met, and lady dancers who I desire, would flatter my ego.
I have no news on the M front. My W is working at being pleasant.
I'll continue the plan of writing and reading poetry, practicing and improving dance skills, developing my own social network of acquaintances and potential friends, and connecting with my W to the extent she wants.
I'll keep working on taming the mental hindrances (desire, doubt, sluggishness, restlessness, and annoyance).
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Jak, and Piecing Friends, My W left me a phone message that she has been working on not "sweating the small stuff." I've noticed that she has been easier to live with these past few weeks. Good for her for trying to calm her mind. I notice that I expect to be yelled at for something, but it hasn't happened recently.
Our guest is still here. It's been about a week. I think he leaves Monday. It has been nice having a guest--he cooks, but I miss having my house to myself. I won't say anything to my W until that point. My W is being more inconvenienced by him than I am. She's sacrificed her entertainment room.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Jak, Matilda, and Piecing Friends, I know that my W has enjoyed our guest who is a native of Chile. He has been respectful, and has cooked for us most days. My fear was that he would get too comfortable and not want to leave, but he is leaving Monday. He is a young man who needs to find his way in the world. My W wanted to provide him a respite.
My W and I attended our dance class last night. My W respects the teacher and believes that a mutual respect is developing. She requested to sign-up for the next six weeks.
My W called the teacher over to help me with my basic rumba step, as she felt I was being too tentative. The teacher said that I have talent, but I need to work on being less inhibited. She said that it's inside me (self-expression)), and her job is to bring it out. This teacher teaches how to be a dancer, not simply dance steps.
My practice assignment is to work on the basic rumba step, putting more emphasis on the hip rotation, pointing of the feet, and bending and straightening of each leg.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
