Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Too late for DB, thread 7

Got the Retro confirmation today. Don't know whether or not it'll be used.

OK, need to journal now... I'm trying to be dark. I have to write down my interactions with him so I can see where it is that I start to goof off like I have before (tho. this is the first time I've really tried the serious dark).

Last night sent three emails pertaining to bills. He asked to speak to me this morning regarding bills and he was the one who was talking about what the kids and I had planned for today. I replied politely but simply. I forwarded him the Retro conf. with the note: "FYI in case you should change your mind." (I realize this one was borderline, but otherwise he wouldn't have the specs on it. He can look it over or ignore it as he wishes.)

That's it and that's all I plan on.

Sounds like a plan.

Hang in there!

Just wanted to send him a note on a motorcycle ride that friends are doing in a few weekends. He had said earlier that he'd love to go riding with my friends as they had both asked him, via me, to join them.

But I didn't. I'm dark.

And I'm tentatively making plans with the girls to see a Chihuly exhibit in SF for the weekend of Retro since I probably won't be busy. I think it would be good to have something planned so I can't just sit there mourning my relationship. Ironically, it's the girls from my H's work. His bosses' wife, a former co-worker and two other spouses' wives.

I think that sounds like a good plan!

When you feel like breaking "darkness" come here and post! I think dark is a good plan.

Are you sure that those women won't say something to your H about your plans for that weekend? That might lead him to believe that you are not interested in going to Retro anymore, since you made other plans.

Sounds like a perfect back-up plan! You sound so good. Very calm and you are thinking up really good stuff.

We are looking at three weekends right now, haven't pinned them down. One is that weekend. I really don't think me having plans will affect his decision. He'll either agree to go or not. I can always tell them I can't make it should he change his mind.

I also don't think they'll say anything to H. When I'm with them we don't speak of H and from what I understand, it's the same when they are with him.

Michelle, I'm calm, but bubbling under the surface. I feel like all the threats and bad things that could happen are just moments away. I'm just trying to batten down the hatches and prepare for the storm since I can't avoid it. I really think, deep in my heart, for the first time that it's over. He's not coming back.

Just got a response email from H re: retro saying thanks and he'll check it out.

Do I respond and say I'm keeping that weekend open and still have kid coverage? Or do I not say anything about it? Either way I don't plan on ever mentioning it again.

And just nailed down a different date for the Chihuly visit, so the weekend is officially open. Now I just need to make secondary plans...

No response. Let him initiate the next contact if possible.

Which weekend in July? First or second? Cuz if second, come to Sac for Second Saturday. If not...maybe still a DB get-together lol.

I think I'd leave it be. Anything more from you is pressure. The next move is his.

(((((cw)))))