a thrill to read this update Val. Thanks so much for posting your news. I love to read how people are doing who were around when I was here. You sound terrific!!
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
Yep, this trip is no joy ride. It was harder than I ever imagined.
But we also had some good times on this board. Do you remember how ironic it was that our kids took us each to a nightclub during the same week? They felt sorry for us, I think. But, as I recall, we both ended up having a blast!!!
I wish I could say I have this great social life going on, but alas I cannot. I had an arranged "date" a couple of months ago .. it was just a coffee date, and I'm glad it was only that because the evening couldn't end fast enough as far as I was concerned!
It was a blind date and the acquaintance who arranged it told me he was a doctor (psychiatrist). I thought "Wow! This could really be really an interesting evening". Wrong. He spent the whole 1-1/2 hours talking about himself, his last failed relationship, and all in a voice loud enough to wake the dead. People kept turning around to stare. I seriously considered moving to the next table which wouldn't be a stretch since I kept edging away from him all evening. I was practically sitting in the aisle.
I was polite as long as I could stand it, finally told him I had to rush home to check on my ill mother, and left him sitting there while I rushed out the door with my sugar-free chocolate mocha.
You would think a psychiatrist would have it figured out. Guess not.
The phone was ringing when I got home and it was H. I'm sure he's still wondering why I was so sweet to him on the phone that evening. I didn't tell him about the fizzled date, of course. He has asked me a few times if I was seeing anyone, and I never give him a forthright answer. He doesn't need to know.
Other than that, just staying busy with family and friends. I'm not ready to try the dating scene again. I'd rather get a chocolate mocha to go and watch "Cheaters" on TV.
As far as "snooping", no I don't have to go to that much trouble. My best friend is a close relative of H's, so I get first-hand information.
Wish I had a more exciting personal life to tell you, but that's the best I can do.
If it makes you feel any better, I have been divorced for 7 years and I like my nice, quiet life. I spend as much time with my boys as I can. And you want to talk about fizzled dates...oy! When my best buddy came to visit me a couple years ago, he asked me if I was seeing anyone. I said no because I didn't want to give this up holding my arms out. He gave me a knowing nod.
Speaking of psychiatrist, my former SIL is married to one, and he isn't exactly playing with a full deck.
From my experience, I never knew when the next dip, twist or turn would happen on this roller coaster. Just when I'd think it can't get any worse, it did. Just when I'd think my H was out of my life forever, he'd pop back in again.
It's enough to make anyone crazy. I didn't detach, detach, detach as quickly as I should have. It took me a long time to learn to do that. Once I did, things got a lot easier. I was a slow learner!
Val, Great to hear from you!!! Yes, a rollercoaster it is. If you recall, my H did all that back and forth cr@p, too. When I first came to this board (back then my user name was aid), I gravitated to both yours and YRs threads becuase I was going through much of the same stuff.
How long we've come. You sound wonderful. Your H is making good, positive changes in his life. And if there's ever a chance for you two again, this is the only way to get there. In the past, he's tried to come back to you without making any real changes. Now, he's not "coming back to you" per se, but he is making real changes in his life, which will ultimately lead him to a healthier place. THen, maybe when he's there, you can build something more than just friendship. But for now, your approach is perfect. Phone friends only. You go girl!
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
