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Joined: May 2008
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Stillfighting,

Did you check the "WAW now the LBS" posts? I believe you will find a lot of useful info in the messages exchanged there. Did you consider doing some telephone coaching with a DB counselor? Not cheap, but it is definitely worth it. W in MLC, or is WAW, it does not matter, she thinks differently than before, than you.

Joined: Apr 2008
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Yes I did check thayt post...
Havn't posted in a while and i'm getting some limited response from the board. Donno why? I jut hope someone cathces up with my post and takes me under their wing, I need some serious help. So...
As for me, she lives at her moms now again, spending most of the time with me and secretly somwhere else. Mom has no idea WAW is in he rappt, MIL is on a long vacation. WAW thinks that I don't know about the time she spends somwhere else when shes says shes at her moms. She is trying to cover up somthing, forwarding the calls from her moms hone phonenr. to her cell so that I think she is at her moms and this weekend she is going away in another city to a hotel just to relax and be by herself. She claims she recieved this as a gift for her birthday back in Jan. When I asked where she was going to be, she got a little mad that I aked about this. It does sound very unlogical to me and if you add the other signs it adds up to that she is secretly seeing other man. What makes me mad is that she thinks that I'm stupid and don't notice all these things and that she's getting away with it. I often wonder if I should mention this to her, but think that it would only push her away, donno what to do so I just act As If everything is cool and act stupid. in "piecing" hoping to get some advice. I just hope someone will catch up my post and tske me under their wing. I have read many posts on this board and seen that very experiencded take newbies and transofrm them into great DBers with their wise advice. I have been recieving limited advice on this board and would really appreciate some feedback. I have a thread over in Newcomers that has been locked. I don't know where I belong. I would like to add that she agreed to watch Michelles DVD Mariage Breakthtough though she showed very little interest in it and always faaling a sleep during watching it and we had to like watch it in segments but watched only one hour of it. I don't think I should pressure her to watch it and she doesn't mention it at all. I would be like trying to fix her and prooving to her she is wrong. This would make her pull away I think.
Any suggestions?

OP


Me:38 Her:37
M:17Y
Children:S13-D10
Bomb:Aug2007
W move out:18Okt2007
R w/OM official:28Nov2007
"End" of R w/OM: 04Mar2008
W initiating pos. contact again:25Feb2008
D finalized:Mar30
Moved back:18Mar2008
Regrets moving back:19Mar2008
Now:XW walked again
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
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Hi Still,

Moved back in...

So you're DBing do all the right things, dettached and no contact and all of that. Those are things to generate interest.
However, what did you change in yourself?

See I'm a big fan of change. You have to take a good long hard look at yourself in bright lights, and yes, listen to the complaints of the spouse.

What were your failings in your marriage, we all have them. What did you change for the better, 180's.

Those changes, by the way have to be real they have to last, otherwise it is s a trick just to get them back. You hvae to want to make those changes in yourself to be a better man, father and husband.

BTW if you think your wife is in MLC, post there. Keep a thread here too, but post in MLC not many people jump threads, they usually stay where they feel comfortable.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Joined: Jun 2007
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Originally Posted By: stillfighting
Havn't posted in a while and i'm getting some limited response from the board. Donno why?


Hi,

Hmm well I think you really didn't want to work on your goals or even answer my questions...you did kind of just skip out and start a new post.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1457932

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