Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis My heart is breaking!

I'm really having a hard time tonight!!! I want to talk to him so bad I can hardly stand it! I miss him so bad & can't believe he is with a slut like that OW!! I was good to him & faithful, I would have never gone astray. Sometimes I work around a lot of musicians, (men) some would flirt but I wouldn't flirt back. I was totally in love with my H & I'm having such a hard time giving him up.

He was so different these last few months. He even cussed me out one night, he was upset b/c we were going to mediation & it was going to cost so much. He came back 3 days later & apologized but still I can't believe he would talk to me like that!! Never has he ever talk to a woman like that, especially me!! I got that on tape, my H didn't know it at the time but he does now. We didn't go to court so the judge never knew but the mediator did. I don't know if that was used against him or not.

I did a lot of snooping to find out about OW, he had just told me he wasn't happy & didn't love me anymore. I knew he had to have someone else. He said I did some under handed things, I guess my snooping but he stayed in the same house with me for 5 months after he told me he wanted D so I had to find out, I became a pretty good PI. I knew about OW about 6 weeks before he knew that I had caught him. It was so hard not to say anything to him when he would tell me that I had disengaged from our marriage. I know now all the things he said to me that was wrong with me was his guilt but my L told me not to say anything about OW. And when he went to TX for Thanksgiving & Xmas, I knew where he was going. He just lied. All the things he told me he felt was wrong with our M was nothing we could not have fixed. It was simple things, it just didn't make sense.

Why do I want him back so bad after the way he has treated me, I don't know. I just always felt like we were meant to be together & he was God sent to me. I was about to move back to Alabama, there was no reason for me to be here, so I just prayed about it, the next week he asked me out on a date & the rest is history. He is the love of my life!

I'm sorry for going on like this, but I'm crying my eyes out right now & I so appreciate you all being there for me!!!

That really hits close to the mark NLT. I am a musician I was on the road in many different states and country's and I never even thought of betraying my friend. It hurts, I know but you are not alone. We are all in the same boat with you here. Talk to us and vent here. That why we are here for each other.

Nlt
Welcome sorry you find yourself here
cant believe that OW- Just shows us how sick these women are
and our H..your story is simialar tomost of ours
H just wakes up one day to drop the bomb unexpectedly
It does last a long time
I am also here 15 months

How old is your H ow?
they say most A dont last
keep posting
try to take care of yourself
practice being upbeat and positive for any contact with H
peace

Jay, thank you so much!!!! I know you all know what I'm going thru, my family & frinds can sympathize but they just don't understand. I work in the studio sometimes as assistant, I'm usually the only girl there but they all knew I was happily married, H would even come by the studio at times. He used to say something about me around all those guys everytime I was in the studio. I just blew it off & told him he was the only one for me & that was the truth.

I'm not sure why tonight is so hard!!! 3 weeks prior to 5/8/02, we went thru a lot with his family, his Dad died on 5/8 & he is always down at this time of year. I just tried to be here for him & now he is with someone else.

This weekend will be a month since I've heard from him, other than getting the alimony check & hearing from OW thanking me! Anyway, I just miss him!! I keep hoping that he will call me. Our oldest dog is having some kidney failure, I did tell him when he was here & he was very concerned. I'm really having a hard time getting her to eat, so that is weighing on me too. These 2 dogs are just like kids & I just can't loose her right now. They both have been so great for me, but it still doesn't replace H.

Thank you all for letting me vent! I keep hoping this will be over soon with OW!!! And I hope he would try to come back to me!! He claimed he had been lonely for years but I know MLCer's re-write history. He sure didn't show it. He lost his wedding ring the year before & he was so upset, told me he wanted that one back b/c "I gave it to him on our special day" That was about 8 months before he met OW. 6 months before he bought me an SUV for Xmas. I never dreamed in a million years he would do this!!! It's all like a nightmare & I keep hoping that I will wake up & he will be here.

Hi Peace! Thank you for responding to me, I just need all the support I can get right now. The OW is almost 2 years older than my H!! Can't you believe that??? According to my friends I look a lot younger than I am, which I love! H does look his age, but I still think he looks good, his gray hair is bothering him, I don't have any gray & neither does my 80 year old Dad. From the looks of the picture I saw of her, she is bleach blonde & looks like trash.

I totally understand NLT, my wife and I were chasing each other around the house for fun less than a week before the bomb. I have been in so many situations as a musician where one could have been tempted but I never was and she never made me think twice about her either. I understand the rug being pulled out. It has been almost 5 months now and I still feel the bump on the back of my head. But the swelling is going down

I know musicans are very tempted, I see it all the time. And a lot are not faithful to their W. I think it is great that you have been so strong. It's hard to believe how they can just drop the bomb on us like this.

What happened to moral values & wedding vows??

Hey (((NLT)))!

Thanks for visiting my thread, it was good to "see" you!

I think you are in the right place right now, I was thinking about moving to MLC myself.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling down. Give it some time, it will get better. Keep busy GALing and don't forget to pamper yourself from time to time.

I hope your dog is going to hang in there for you! I also have a 14 yo dog. For an old doggy she is in amazing shape and enjoys good health, but I cannot help thinking about her age all the time.

(((hugs)))

Hi Stella!

I'm not sure why I'm having these down days right now. I guess I keep hoping for a phone call! I don't think that is going to happen right now. I guess I keep thinking about things that happened last summer & how he was acting, I should have caught on to something but I didn't.

I'm taking my dog to a Holistic vet tomorrow. I'm pretty concerned right now, she is not feeling well today at all & is still not eating very well. I hope they can get me something that will help keep her around a while longer. I just can't go thru that too.

You stay strong! I will keep visiting your thread. I've been so wrapped up in everything that has been going on with me that I haven't taken the time to visit others like I should but I will now!

(((HUGS)))

((((nlt))))

The down days still come and go for me. It all takes time esp when you have so much invested emotionally in someone. Be kind to yourself.

I hope your dog is ok or gets better. I had to help mine go early this year. I hope your outcome is much better.