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LL

I am SOO glad that you have FWO as well! I did the same thing as you when I read it and the same chapter, too. Like you, I wanted to call my husband and apologize immediately for every time I cut him off at the knees. I did it thinking I was helping him, but I know now I was hurting us. I also knew that he WOULD NOT be receptive to my phone call at the time and I figured that actions speak louder than words. That is when I became softer and more validating in the rare interactions that we have. Because of it, I am seeing little babysteps of him being more open with me, too.

Her is hoping for do-overs for bnoth of us. In the meantime, we continue to be the best we can be for ourselves. If our hubbies wak up and jump on board that willbe awesome, but if not we are still going to be in a better place than we are now.

SMW

That's great that your friend had those! It's amazing how life works out.

You will have to tell me more about FWO, I've gotten some of that from DB/DR and also from the 5 Love Languages, but that sounds like such a good book as well.

Michelle--

GET IT NOW!! You need to get this book and read it befoer you move. ST recommended it to me about two weeks ago. I am so glad she did.It basically addresses the things women should know about men--the things they think we do or should know. Written by a Christian woman.

SMW

I ran out of gas in the pouring rain today coming home from picking up my S16 from school. While we were waiting for my friends to come with the gas can, I took FWO and also "For Men Only" out of the diaper bag. I started on FWO and gave FMO to S16! lol I said, "here, you have a girlfriend now so you might as well learn how to get it right from the get go instead of having to repair a lot of damage in 20 years". And he actually read some of it. :-)

I remember reading an article years ago when he was in elementary school about raising our sons to be the kind of men we would want to marry. Sounds kind of weird but the more I read it, the more sense it made. I really do see it as training him to understand women.

Sounds like you put the time to good use! That was good PMA there.

Ironically, this was the main reason I hadn't bought it yet. When they start bogging down with Bible quotes and stuff, I can't stand it. So, like I said, let me know how it is.

Mi8chelle--

I promise--It is not bogged down with bible quotes. My cousin is not very religious and I am buying it for her for her borthday. Trust me--she is the last person I would give something "full of Jesus" too (her words, not mine).

LL

Good idea with S16. I am going to pass FWO onto D16 in a few weeks--she just broke up with the loser boyfriend (YEAH!!) and she needs time to get over him.

SMW

Hey LL

Just checking in this morning. How are you doing today? I need to post an update on my thread about H and his actions yesterday. I am hoping for some feedback from you and ST on it. Maybe Phoeniz will drop in for a male perspective, too.

I got busy with school until well after 11 last night and then HAD to shampoo my carpets.

Today's goals for us both--PMA and feel good vibes, we do not initiate contact with H, and do something good for yourself, even if it is locking yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes of peace and quiet.

SMW

Sweet. I shall add it to my list of things to get from the library / buy.

Hope you are keeping busy and got the PMA going LL.

I just have a quick minute. Today has been a tremendous day of breakthrough in my thinking, perspective, etc.

I don't know how much time I have right now. I don't have internet anymore (but hey, we have food in the pantry and gas in the car and everybody's happy. :-) ) so I'm sitting on my friends patio, pirating her wireless, drinking a glass of wine. I want to stay out here all night (the weather is nice) but I think my kids have found me. I hear them outside on my patio. lol Oh, crap, they spotted me. lol

Just a quick synopsis: been reading FWO. Big WHOA! Have been sharing it with my friends and have had some good discussion. I went back and forth about calling my H. Didn't want to but felt strongly that it was the right time. Apologized for some things that I hadn't realized I had been doing wrong over the years. Told him that I didn't need for him to call back (it was on voicemail because he was in class) but that I had to get some things out. Sent a bunch of text messages, too. Needed to own up to my part in things. I knew it wasn't the usual, me taking the blame for everything, because after I got it all out of my system, I felt so giddy and alive, like a huge burden had rolled off. Funny thing is that he has been sick and wasn't in "fight" mode and therefore was more receptive because he didn't have his guard up. It's hard for him being away when he has a migraine or a cold because I always take good care of him when he's home. I got the impression that while he has been sick these past couple of days, he was thinking about that.

After I got done with all my text messages, he wrote back: "you are being too hard on yourself. I wasn't perfect at everything either and did things wrong"

For months, I've been praying: Lord, fix what's broken. Of course, I was thinking that meant fix the crappy stuff about my H that's messed up. lol Little did I know that God had plans for me! I feel like what I'm going through this week is like pruning, weeding, dead heading....to use gardening analogies. For sure, the new growth will come.

It's good that the internet isn't readily available to me anymore. It's forcing me to read these amazing books I have. Haven't started DR yet but will probably start tomorrow. I plan to spend the whole day at the pool.

I wish I had more time on here but the kids need to get to bed and my S16 is tired of watching them. I'll try to get on tomorrow and post more and check on everybody.

Sounds like a lot of the books are sinking in. I'm glad he was receptive to your apologies, that is always a good sign! Give him time to think now.

Sounds like you are really doing well.