I have pondered this on many occasions. I keep coming back to a lack of character and plain old laziness.
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
The sad thing is, they might be actually thinking that is WAS a great sermon. The mentality of having a committed R/M with someone who pursues a married person. The completion of that sentence is:
"...because once my D is final, and we can M each other, we will really take it to heart!"
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
The mentality of having a committed R/M with someone who pursues a married person. The completion of that sentence is:
"...because once my D is final, and we can M each other, we will really take it to heart!"
That's my H's mentality anyway. When we went to church and they had a sermon about adultery and it's the wrong path away from God, etc. I asked my H what he thought about it (this was about 3 months into the affair he's been having for 6 months now) and he said he plans to follow the advice of the pastor "in his next marriage!" Karen
The sad thing is, they might be actually thinking that is WAS a great sermon. The mentality of having a committed R/M with someone who pursues a married person. The completion of that sentence is:
"...because once my D is final, and we can M each other, we will really take it to heart!"
gForce,
Yep.... Talk about a fantasy...... Being with someone who will encourage you to leave your M for them..... OR..... Having someone who left their M for you.......... In essence, two cheaters together........ I LOVE what someone wrote a while back... Something like.... I CANNOT WAIT until exW marries OM.... Then, they will both be looking over their shoulders FOREVER.... Wondering who will cheat FIRST!!!!!!!!!! I love that one!
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
The mentality of having a committed R/M with someone who pursues a married person. The completion of that sentence is:
"...because once my D is final, and we can M each other, we will really take it to heart!"
That's my H's mentality anyway. When we went to church and they had a sermon about adultery and it's the wrong path away from God, etc. I asked my H what he thought about it (this was about 3 months into the affair he's been having for 6 months now) and he said he plans to follow the advice of the pastor "in his next marriage!" Karen
karen43,
I would ask him if he would be willing to sit down and have a talk with you and the pastor to discuss his "beliefs" and how the align with the Bible.
If he cannot be faithful to you, he cannot be faithful to another.
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
[quote=karen43 I asked my H what he thought about it (this was about 3 months into the affair he's been having for 6 months now) and he said he plans to follow the advice of the pastor "in his next marriage!" Karen [/quote]
karen, that is just sad. I can' believe he told you this. Your H certainly says some dumb, hurtful things to you.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
karen, that is just sad. I can' believe he told you this. Your H certainly says some dumb, hurtful things to you. [/quote]
The funny (maybe sad?) thing about this is that I kind of think H believes that too, that he will be faithful to his next wife, but not me because he "doesn't love me anymore". Of course, he will have those non-loving moments in his next R or marriage too, so I don't think that is very good reasoning myself. I almost or maybe I do feel sorry for H, b/c I think my H will have a lot of problems in any R he is in at this point b/c of how he is, his way of thinking, his immaturity, etc. but I guess he can't see that (yet anyway). Karen
karen, that is just sad. I can' believe he told you this. Your H certainly says some dumb, hurtful things to you.
The funny (maybe sad?) thing about this is that I kind of think H believes that too, that he will be faithful to his next wife, but not me because he "doesn't love me anymore". Of course, he will have those non-loving moments in his next R or marriage too, so I don't think that is very good reasoning myself. I almost or maybe I do feel sorry for H, b/c I think my H will have a lot of problems in any R he is in at this point b/c of how he is, his way of thinking, his immaturity, etc. but I guess he can't see that (yet anyway). Karen [/quote]
karen43,
It seems like he is not mature enough to see love is a decision NOT a feeling. The "in love" feeling comes and goes.... In my M to exW, it came and went every few months.... That is just the way it is..... You need to be able to handle the valleys as well as the peaks.....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
I really hope your H snaps out of it, Karen. What he told you is just unbelievable. You deserve better. He needs to be better to deserve you. I need to tell myself the same thing about W.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I really hope your H snaps out of it, Karen. What he told you is just unbelievable. You deserve better. He needs to be better to deserve you. I need to tell myself the same thing about W.
That's right--I think we all kind of deserve better than our spouses are acting now/have acted. I think we all should keep that in mind! Karen
Karen
Karen