Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy H is having affair after all - part 3

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Thanks Naej and ACJ, you are right, hard not to panic a little, especially when tryin to gain a glimmer of hope....

What part of the UK are you from? I'm in the middle.

I have time this weekend to read alot, was reading about MLC and chapter 6 in DR as Jen suggested (hope your proud of me Jen?).

Not managed to come up with any small goals yet. I was reading on another post about allowing a friendship with your spouse enables him/her to have an emotional bridge to the ow, almost as if you are accepting the a by allowing the friendship and that the was may never want anything more b/c he doesn't miss you enough. Does that make sense?

I just don't know whether to continue to try and build a friendship or go dimish. Dark creates anger in him. Answering his calls/emails etc is ok, but his actions do not speak of him making any strides towards me, only steps further away from me.

Hi Evie, I'm SW ish the bit that floods.

the way the weather is today, that'll be most of the country,isn't it vile?

I think i can guess, nice place in the summer?

Yes been pretty grim but then it is a BH.
Yes I love this county but then so do a lot of the Royals.

Yes, and i had to work the last BH, tomorrow i'm off and driving to Manchester to visit my new nephew - yipee...

I shall be camping with the boys in August near the 'lost Gardens of Heligan' and in the October half term with my boys, i shall be cycling along the 'camel trail'...

Boys just left a vm, they sound happy but tired and missing me.

Naej - where can i find your thread?

oh my threads are long gone,sorry. I just pop by to read and post when I can. Been about too much lately.
short history was m 31 yrs, husband had MLC and suddenly left to start a new life. He was having an A with someone I knew. They are now m and live abroad. I have 3 kids grown up.

omg - i am so sorry.

Can you tell me about it?

How did you move on?

Would H not try and reconcile, did he want to?

Do you know what went wrong?

Are you happy now?

Sorry for all the q's, but i feel as though my H is about to follow the same path as your H.

If you click on my name and go to my posts why back in the beginning theres a post to Michele
#81493 - 30/05/02 08:09 PM Michele- Need to hear YOUR VOICE!" gives a brief recap I think.
Very early on he offered to come back simply because I was in such a state I think, I told him to come home only if he really loved me- he never came.
I really don't know what went wrong, I guess we grew apart once the kids left home, but I thought we were happy.
We have had v little contact over the years a handful of calls. I emailed him some pics of our first g/child. I haven't seen him in over 5 yrs. He hasn,t seen his kids in 8 yrs,but he did see his daughter earlier this yr for 2 hrs and her son.He has not seen or spoken to his sons in 8 yrs. hey refuse to have any contact. So sad because he loved his kids and they loved him.
Gosh its such alot to tell.
Yes I am ok, took me a while I'm a slow learner. I live alone and don't date. I still think about my old life but it's long gone.
My kids are my greatest joy and we are close but they live all over.
I didn't find this site til much later and did all the begging and cryin etc that a no no.So you are in the best place for help and advice.
I am probably much older than you and my x was my only real b/friend we grew up together.
Good luck

Evie - seems to me th you shld do what you are able to do. If you need space, take it. If you feel friendly, then act on it. It seems like any contact w/ H shld at least be neutral. If you can also make it light and friendly - interested in him - then go for it. What wld it mean to build a friendship? What actions wld th involve and is he receptive? He wants you to respond to him when he has a question or need, but what else does he seem to want fr you?

Absolutely nothing. He's a player, probably never loved me, does he even know the meaning of love? He chases the LUST aspect of any relationship.

He's a good actor and i am very gullible, i didn't see through his act.

he has no respect for me to be able to treat me the way he has.

He says he not a bas*ard or a hard person, yet he walks away from 2 girls and picks up his sons when it suits and i'm left with the aftermath.

We've had 3 holiday abroad together, which should have been great relaxing family times, working on us, all teh time a 3rd person in it. I totally empathise with Jennifer Anniston, how does she do it? Respect for her keeping her grief and anger private.

Sorry to be so negative, i realised this morning that i'm 'griefing' for the loss of my M and my dreams.