Thanks so much for those words of advice.Really I have no choice but to try to get on with my life and wait. The problem could come in July when I finish work. My solicitor says he will have to give me a large share of the house sale,maintenence for 9 months until I am 60,and half of his pension. He will NOT like this but my teachers pension is not enough to live on.I have a few months grace though and will do nothing except pray that he comes out of this fog and denial of what is happening-things are great between us as long as I dont mention the marriage!This is so frustrating as I want to talk and talk!Have been keeping a journal and that helps me a lot-but sometimes I feel so sad and frightened-I thought we would spend our old age together and he would settle down and open up more. Well,what will be will be.
It's totally understandable that you wld feel both sad and frightened. Plus, a few other things like angry and hurt and loving. . . . Do you have plans for life after teaching - retirement w/o a plan for how you will spend your time and energy sounds like it wld be more negative than positive, to me. Especially under these circumstances.
Here is a quote from a newsletter that I get: ”When you feel miserable and focus on what feels bad, you can’t attract wonderful things. What you focus on just continues and reinforces your belief that ‘this is how it is’ and you are powerless to change it.” —Dr. Alexandra Gayek
Definitely keep praying, but my suggestion is to focus on what you want to attract, not what you want to resist.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
THANK YOU PEACE OF MIND FOR YOUR ADVICE. WHAT YOU SAID IS SO TRUE.I cant seem to focus or plan for anything at the moment. I am living in rented accomodation,my job stops in July and Im worried about money. As I said I am afraid the settlement, if we do divorce, will anger him. But I dont know how I could manage financially otherwise.Im hoping we can discuss an informal arrange ment and stay married for now as he seems in no hurry to divorce- he says"because of how i feel about you" but I suspect the settlement and having his cake are both factors. I am trying to ask myself "what do you want?" but other than to be back with him I dont know. Thats pathetic isnt it? Its just that everything in my life-job house relationship and financial security has been taken away all at once!
