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Hi Rusty, thanks for your post. I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. It is tough isn't it?

I think the "world's" point of view is that if you get into a new relationship, you'll get over the old one, but in my opinion, it doesn't work that way. You might feel good for a bit, but then the old problems resurface.

I think the better way is to figure out what issues there were in your relationship and try to remedy the way you dealt with those. In my marriage, we never did figure out how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. Usually, I would get frustrated by something he did or did not do, and he would withdraw from the conversation or argument, or "discussion" and hope that things would blow over. Which usually just made me more frustrated. It was a bad cycle to get into.

We can still get into that cycle if I'm not watchful. Heh.

Rusty, I'll go read your thread, but I was wondering how much contact you have with your H? At my 2.5 year mark, my H was still calling me every couple of days "to check in." Now he calls maybe once every couple of weeks. That's why I decided to see what this board had to offer in the way of advice.

Thanks for posting and I'll be watching your thread as well.

imLIN thank you for your post. It's nice to hear from a reconciled person. Congratulations on your success.

Tink, I have another friend who keeps recommending those two books. Hmmmmm, maybe I should read them.

Hi MP53,

LOL Yes and I have read about a dozen really good relationship books and these two I felt are right for you...they both happen to be the funniest self-help books I've ever read. Have fun!

I would suggest reading "He's Just Not Into You" first, then WMMB (I found it better, it's the updated version of WMLB)

Tink

Tink - what the hell is that? You don't even know me - how dare you call me a bitch. What a piece of work you must be.

Awwww, Rusty, I don't think that was what Tink was doing. Those books offer another way of looking at relationships from a man's point of view. Men do think differently about it than we do.

Thank you, MP53! LOL! That was weird.

Sorry if I misunderstood - I have never heard of these books and it seemed a little odd, with no explanation, to suggest reading them. Maybe if you had given a reason behind suggesting them, it wouldn't have been perceived so poorly.

Perhaps if I had given a description, YOU wouldn't have perceived it so poorly.

Nevertheless, lashing out at people, especially when you don't know the facts--and even when you know the facts--is not good for relationships.

Tink

Whatever Tink, how about offering the facts. I think alot of folks would have thought the same as I did - as did several friends I mentioned it to tonight. I'm not interested in getting crap from you - I have enough to contend with in my real world.