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WE should REMAKE IT!!!

I did not think the first time hearing my wedding song, would be this way.

I pictured myself just a ball of nothing in the fetal position on the floor, uncontrollably crying,

No, that did not happen, i was actually driving back from my parents house after showing them my new vehicle, and i was heading food shopping. I actually scanning the stations, and it stopped on our wedding song.

I thought oh here it comes i better move over for i am going to lose it.

Nope, did not happen. I felt sad but not that hysterical sad i thought was going to happen. I felt sad that h has walked away from a good thing, me. and good life with me. It was his choice to walk out the door have an affair not mine.

Every day since last wed, when the first talk i had with someone about the whole situation with h, has been different I have been different. I though the changes were going too slow i was getting so anxious that they were taking too long. Well this week the changes have been like a bullet train. I have had another good conversation with someone else down the shore, which helped also.

I realize now i am a good person with a good heart a good soul. I really did not deserve what h has done to me, but you know what, i will roar jeanette, for i am woman!! I am becoming too big to ignore.

I have made a new friend, and i think things are going well, its been such a great feeling to laugh. I think when h is away next week i will clean the yard like a mad woman hope the weather holds out and invite some co-workers over for a BBQ.

I am hoping we will be able to get together this weekend some of us, we are trying, plans keep changing due to work schedules, kids, etc.

This is my now, My moment, I am really beginning to acknowledge my h is gone, he is not coming back. Have i closed the door, no its still open, its just time for me now.

I want to blossom again, Jeanette said something to me the other day, along the lines of i have been changing for the good, i have had a tremendous weight loss and still working on more, my moms tumor in her breast is shrinking, these are all good things. Things i am thankful for.

You know, last night i received a text while we were waiting for paperwork to be done, when h saw me smile at the phone, i swear i saw a quick look of hurt in his eyes.

I know this is not right, not the DB way, but i want h to go away this weekend i hope he does go the whole time with ow. I want my home, the weather is going to be beautiful, and i am feeling very selfish, i want my yard to myself. If not i will go out.

I know what i did wrong in my marriage, I have to make peace with myself. H is done thrown his hands up in the air, and has given up. I will never regret trying to save us for one minute, never. For now i am tired of using my time and energy to fix something that is not there. I want to use it on me.

hugs all
bear

SG

AWSOME IDEA WE SHOULD

bear

You know, last night i received a text while we were waiting for paperwork to be done, when h saw me smile at the phone, i swear i saw a quick look of hurt in his eyes.

I know this is not right, not the DB way, but i want h to go away this weekend i hope he does go the whole time with ow. I want my home, the weather is going to be beautiful, and i am feeling very selfish, i want my yard to myself. If not i will go out.

I know what i did wrong in my marriage, I have to make peace with myself. H is done thrown his hands up in the air, and has given up. I will never regret trying to save us for one minute, never. For now i am tired of using my time and energy to fix something that is not there. I want to use it on me.



omg my bear got HERSELF back! Sure it's the DB way.


OK...you have to send yourself text messages at random times. You can even do this from your computer. And they are going to be laugh your ass off jokes. Wiggle ass smileys, etc. Thinkgs that make you break out in a belly laugh.

THEN...delete them.

Have fun girlfriend.




Why don't bears eat clowns?

You know, last night i received a text while we were waiting for paperwork to be done, when h saw me smile at the phone, i swear i saw a quick look of hurt in his eyes.

I know this is not right, not the DB way, but i want h to go away this weekend i hope he does go the whole time with ow. I want my home, the weather is going to be beautiful, and i am feeling very selfish, i want my yard to myself. If not i will go out.

I know what i did wrong in my marriage, I have to make peace with myself. H is done thrown his hands up in the air, and has given up. I will never regret trying to save us for one minute, never. For now i am tired of using my time and energy to fix something that is not there. I want to use it on me.



omg my bear got HERSELF back! Sure it's the DB way.


OK...you have to send yourself text messages at random times. You can even do this from your computer. And they are going to be laugh your ass off jokes. Wiggle ass smileys, etc. Thinkgs that make you break out in a belly laugh.

THEN...delete them.

Have fun girlfriend.




Why don't bears eat clowns?

Morning SG

First why do bears eat clowns? I don't know why?

Good idea, but i have been getting enough random ones so far, but i will keep it in mind.

You know its kinda laughable, h is always trying to hide when he looks at his cell phone, not me it goes off, i open it up right away, and read the message.
I am not ashamed, i have nothing to hide. Most of them are work related, but h does not know that. (work related as for coverage for my job)

I also had forgotten to write about tuesday, we were sitting at the desk of the sales person, waiting for the apraisal to come back on my car that i was trading in. H was scratching his head, a lot, crazy amount. I look at him his head is full of, yucky scabs and pimples. YUCK! is all i have to say. Guess she does not care what he looks like for since he got a hair cut over the weekend, you see everything. I mean it is stomach turning. What h is doing and why he is letting this happen is beyond me. There is enough personal products here in the house, he could do something about it, or how about this, he works for a hospital go see an md. Guess this is the way h is dealing with stress.

Sorry for the stomach turning run on. Just makes me feel he is not taking any pride in himself as of late. And its coming back in a way to bit him in the butt.

Yes, SG, bear has herself back. And i am determined to love every second of it.

Hugs
bear

Wow!!! I am loving the new bear!!!

You sound fantastic!!! You've got the right focus now, you!!!

So, what did you decide to get vehicle wise? Was it the Rav4? I think I recall you mentioning that you liked them.

(((Bear)))

W2G

What is up with his head???

GIRL!!!!

GERL!!!

You ROCK!

It feels so good doesn't it? To gain your control back?

OMG....I am so luvin this new you!

Your determination to live is impressive bear. It shines in your words. I'm positive it shines in your personality as a person.

I'm positive your blinding your H with your super vibes.

I'm in awe...

Hugs!!!!

Jeanette

Morning W2G

Yes, it did go with the rav4, in a everglades green color. I love it. Jeanette the color makes me think of you in sunny florida, so sunny is my disposition as of late.

Yes, it is about me now. It was kinda about me before but now its really 100+% about me. I have noticed that h is hanging around me a little more. Like this am, he was so chatty about things. He was in and out of my bedroom, talking up a storm. Lishen H i don't want to sound mean and cold, ( really guys I don't). But right now h I DON'T CARE!. Please go and do what you want and leave me to do what I want.

I have as i call it dropped the rope that i was holding. The weight i was trying to hold from slipping away from me with h and this marriage was like trying to hold on to the QE2, as it is pulling away from the dock.

My arms are tired from carrying this whole burden on me. I want the pain to stop, and i want to have some fun.

Jeanette

I don't know what is going on with his head, but YUCK it made me sick to my stomach. She wants to look and deal with that, honey he is all yours. I in the past would help him, get him stuff. Nope no more. Look at yourself in the mirror h, really look and see what you look like, not just physically outside which you are falling apart, but look inside you at yourself. see what you have done.

Please i could not have gotten here with out all of you. You all are helping me shine.

So put your sunglasses on gang! Summer of fun is here.

hugs to all
Bear

GOT EM ON!!

You know what bear.....

I am going to take your advice.

I am going to enjoy my house like I used to.

I am going to give myself a break from feeling like I've got to get out of here before I go nuts.

I love my home, and I need to show it more.

Thank you for that wonderful insight!

Yes......summer is here and it's HOT in FLORIDA!