The only reason I called back is because I thought he was going to tell me he could pick up son..I should have known better...darn it....next time I'm making other arrangements...then I can just go have fun with no worries about kids....
I'm learning a little each day....I'll be a pro pretty soon..LOL!
Today I chaperone the junior/senior prom....I do it every year because I work at the high school....the kids are great....I am actually looking forward to it...first I have to coach my sons baseball team because the coaches can't be there....that should be fun too...I can do it all!!!!!
Have a great day everyone.....
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I really think your H was checking up on you. Remember the air of mystery. Next time when you go out just tell him you have plans and make other arrangements with your S. Don't depend on your H and don't call him back, let him guess. I am so glad you enjoyed yourself. We need a boost to our self esteem after what we have been through.
It seems that they choose ow's alot worse off then themselves. It makes them look like a rescuer and makes them look better. I know my H did. He had an A with a bipolar, personality disorder ow. He almost went crazy!!!!! He was trying to help her and then figured it out with C that he couldn't do a darn thing.
His eyes will open on day when she starts the chase again with someone else.
It's okay to be scared and lonely. Give it time and things will get better.
I think I posted to you last year before taking a long break.
My hubby partially moved out last summer AFTER God sent the other person back home to another state not that that was anything great, neither liked the other much and they only said negative stuff about eachother. It was weird.
My husband is around all the time watching the kids while I am at work, he gets ready for work here and sleeps here sometimes he comes over after work. We attend family functions together and major holidays. He did avoid our anniversary, Valentine's and Mother's Day though. He controls himself pretty well around the kids and I occasionally he gets upset with me.
I recently found out he tends to spew at his friends more often then at me. He has also spewed at his older brother. There is the self medication with alcohol. He admitted to his brother that sometimes somthing will just set him off. I know though that everyday that goes by he is getting better regardless of setbacks he is getting better.
I can certainly relate to the time lapses and things its so odd. Or he thinks he told me something but didn't????
At anyrate my question to you is about the intimacy.
During this whole crusade we have remained intimate. It gives me a chance to show him I love him and I pray it brings up feelings within him as well. I also want to keep the marriage bed pure from now on.
Ok so I get these little talks during intimacy that it is just sex. Yesterday he totally caught me off guard and gave me this extrememly passionate long kiss. He had not done that in a long time it was very moving. Then after as if to catch himself I got the "this is just sex I dont want you reading more into it than it is." All I could say was mmm-hmmm. It didnt matter what he said that kiss said a lot more.
I was wondering if it was like that for you and your hubby for a long time. I want to believe that he is just hiding his true feelings because he still needs to work out things within himself. He admitted to his brother in February he still loves me he just isn't "feeling" it. Not sure what the second part means.
I know though that God still has work to do so I need to wait on God's timing.
I can certainly relate to the time lapses and things its so odd. Or he thinks he told me something but didn't????
HeartSacred, about the time lapses - check this out. My wife had an idea to start a business around one of her passions. She investigated and was developing some ideas. She had been mentioning it to me, telling me about the possibilities, giving me brief updates. One day I came home from work and we had a 45 minute conversation about it. This was all after I knew about her affair, we were in counseling, trying to work things out. I was so pleased to just be able to listen to her and support her. I was paying special attention so I did not start butting in, suggesting ways to structure the business, ways to do things. I was pleased that this was her idea and her initiative. I offered no solutions, but instead just listened to her ideas and commented on them. She was smiling and animated and excited and she shared it all with me. It was pure pleasure. Most of me was 100% there in the conversation, but 5% of me was on the sidelines screaming YES YES YES!!! I was so happy we were just talking.
Then we had a couples counseling session about 3 days later. She lit into me about not even caring about this business idea she had been developing. She told me I didn't show the slightest interest, I hadn't even asked her about it. She said it showed that I totally do not care about her. I was dumbstruck. I told her I was interested, I reminded her we had talked about it for a long time. She didn't believe me. Then I repeated back to her all her plans, and what she had done so far, and her other ideas, other options she was going to check out. She had no recollection of our conversation. None. She didn't know what to make of me repeating all this to her.
The only way I can figure it: she told the other man all her plans, and then somehow got confused as to which one she told and which one she did not. OR maybe she, being in love with OM, was convinced that she told him, when it was really me she had the conversation with. Whatever. Regardless, it was very odd.
If I had only read about this thing, I would have a hard time believing it really happened. But it happened to me.
--- About the sexual intimacy through this time - oh hold on to any connection you've got, sister. I think you played it great with your "mmm-hmmmmmm". Sounds like what you're doing there is good for both of you.
Yes I know exactly what you mean about having conversations with them and hey have no recollection at all. Our family members who do not understand this think he is just playing around UNTIL, he does it to them too. I am sure we both have seen the look on their face when they are being told what had happened that they forgot all about it.
Or he will swear he told me something but he didn't. I think they talk to us in their heads then forget they never actually did it in real life. My husband does this to me, family members and I am sure his friends too. His brother and I talked about this very thing.
Yes it was like that for me too. I takes time for the feelings to come to the surface again. My H wouldn't tell me he loved me or wear his wedding ring even though he moved back home. He was still working on the buried feelings. It took a very long time and almost floored me when he put on his ring and didn't even tell me. Then the ILY's started again.
The intimacy, yep! There were no feelings toward me on his part. No emotions, no love. He didn't act the same. Believe me that has all changed now!!! It takes time for them to finally get through the last part of MLC.
