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Well, locked another one.

So the alien creature has returned to the house. Terrible angry attitude, and just saunters into the house tonight after therapy at almost 9pm. I like a jerk almost waited for him to eat, once the time hit a certain point I was like hello dummy, just eat. And so i did.

I could tell h was home earlier in the day, lights on, mail taken care of (none for me to see) and I could tell he ate. So when he came in there was no plate set out for him, h was like no plate, my reply was did not know when you were coming home, and did you not eat before you left, answer was yes, but i still want dinner, ok was my reply there is more than enough, grab a plate for yourself and dig in.

After dinner tried to get him to commit to day and time to deal with the vehicle issue, what a run around, well i don't know, I was like i take some time on thurs to go before 7pm (changed my therapy to start going down the shore on my fridays off) to see what they have to offer up about the lease issue. No real reply he seems to want to go on friday, I am out of here friday am for the shore. I hope to be in atlantic city celebrating my dads birthday by 4pm. He just seems so convinced that he does not want a rav4 for himself. Honey pie I am not telling you or saying you need to get one, I am. My choice I am beginning to find things more and more interesting. H you want me to not be depend on you, to do things on my own, you do not want my help, claim to not need it, and refuse it when offered. How am i forcing you to lease a vehicle you don't want. It is what I want and I am going to do it. Period.

I think i am being more than fair, the car that is being traded in which is he has been using is in my name. So it is free for me to do what i wish to do with it, I am willing to split in half what the dealership will give for it. I think i am being fair.

Strange, very strange.

Well hugs to all
bear

Ok, it must be me, for I cannot bring my last locked stitch over to my new stitch.

I am drawing a complete blank, can some one help a silly computer dummy bear.

thank you

bear

I opened a second window, found my 1st thread, clicked on the address, then control c, click on 2nd thread, click on reply window, hit control v. Or, you can do the same thing, but control v once you're in your signature box.

clear as mud ?

Hi Bear,

Sorry the not so nice H is back.. I'm sure the friendly H was nice while it lasted. Sounds like you're taking it all in stride!!

Thinking of you with big hugs!

W2G

bears last thread

There ya go sweetie!!

Something is going on with hubby. I'm thinkin all is not good in paradise.

Hi

Smartcookie, thanks for the explanation for moving my previous thread over. LOL clear as mud.. LMAO.

I just have been staring at the computer, drawing a total blank. Somewhere it fell out of my head. But thanks to my wonderful jeanette, she has helped me. Thanks as always jeanette you are the best of the best. Remember that please
W2G, yes mr unhappy is back. You know, I am tired of the mood swings, I really beleive i have dropped the rope and have started to put my hands in the air. THe next steps for me will to be not picking up the rope and starting to back away from it.

I agree something is definately going on, I too am thinking something is wrong in paradise, the grass is starting to turn brown. I will stick to my statement, if h wants back in, things must change, our old marriage is over, dead. If you wish to be with me h you/we need to put serious time into it.

I have been feeling more confident about myself the past week. I need to keep it up. And i will do my best. I have to for me. My heart is still open, but i feel like I am standing looking out a door, with my hand on the door know, possibly ready to close the door. I don't wish to close it but, for know I have left it open, and have stepped back to see what will happen.

Well hugs to all, work issues calling me.
bear

Hey Bear,
You sound the best I've ever heard you! Good for you!
I'm so glad that you're focusing on yourself, YOU deserve to be happy and I think you're starting to see you don't him for that.

Sorry I haven't been keep up very well. How is your Mom doing?? I hope all is well with her.
J~

Hey Jenny

Thanks for thinking I am sounding good. Its ok, you have so much on you plate, in fact i must admit, i have not been keeping up well with others, been very lax with it the past few days. I do apologize.

Its interesting, just a little while ago i got a voice mail message from H, stating, your on your own tonight for dinner, I'm going out, and i have to work tonight 11pm to 8am, no one to cover shift. I will call you later. Now what i did next i found interesting, i always save the voice mail messages, not this time i deleted it. I said bear, let it go, he is gone and going to do what he wants, you know in your heart, he is staying the night over at ow, and h does not want to be home with you. Let it go, don't think about it. Its just another lie, upon another lie. His house of cards will fall someday.

So i text him back with, sorry i missed your call, i had therapy at 7pm anyway, maybe we will talk later.

The next thing I know, there is a tom petty and the heartbreakers song on, Don't come around here no more" Holy cow,did some of those lyrics ring so true to my situation.

I have to do for me now. My time is coming, i know it won't be easy, but i am tired of being sad, crying, feeling like garbage. Will i backslide, sure will, but i will be trying my best not to. I am learning more and more about me.

My mom, well her md appointment was Monday, sees the oral meds are working the lump under her arm is smaller so is the one in her breast. So he wants her to stay on the meds for another 7 weeks. It was good news so far. I know she will need surgery eventually just as to when is totally up in the air. The battle is still up hill, but for now we are coasting. Thanks so much for asking. Speaking of moms, i hope you mothers day was wonderful. Oh and how is your mom doing?

hugs
bear

It isn't likely to happen in this manner.

If you really want him back, you will have to do this differently. Not 90, 120, but 180.

Hi SG

Long time no hear from, hope all is well.

SG its time for me to change, I don't know what else to do with H. I feel I have dropped the rope, doing more and more for me. I feel i am stepping back and looking at this whole thing. I know if he wishes like i do to work on this marriage, work has to and must be done to build a new marriage. If i am to wait and wait and wait for h, to just keep going in the direction he is moving onto. I will be in a old dark cold terrible place which I feel as of late I have gotten out of.

I Have been doing some as i call them 30, 60, 90's moving towards the 180's I am doing more for me, trying to find my happy place. If h sees these changes great, if he does not think they are good enough for him so be it. They are good for me. And me is who i have to worry about now

I am leaving the door open for is return, time will tell if he decides to walk back into it

hugs
bear