well i did something stupid tonight. i was sitting in my squad checking my myspace and i see my W has downloadedpics from her trip. so i looked at them and found myself crying. i thought this phase was behund me but i still miss her. i dont NEED her, but i would love to have my partner back. o well. better i cry now then tomorrow when i pick her up.
Marcum, I'm thinking about you today as you pick your wife up. Hope it goes well.
I'm experiencing the ups and downs as well.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
picked her up at the airport. I got three huggs and a good to see you. she made eye contact the whole time and even said I looked nice.
She did drop a new bomb. she told me she didnt want to go back to our current MC. said she felt she had grown to close to me and was pushing to many boundries with her. funny thing is when the C was callenging me and totaly makeing me question my selk my W was fine with that!! now that the C holds my wife accountable for her actions and tells her when she sees her not being nice or fair my W says shes takeing side!!
please hel;p with this one because we have MC scedualed for thursday. I told my W if she doest want to go anymore thats ok. she replied shes fine with MC just not out current C. any suggestions??
Hmm, maybe give her another week or so then go see the C? Maybe she's being "forced" to confront these issues a bit to soon or fast. In other words give her a chance to catch up to the C and you.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I would go to another MC. For sure. She is telling you that she is willing to go to MC. Just not that one. Respect her feelings for this current C. Show her you care about what she thinks. Dump that one immediately. Don't go there if she is uncomfortable. Take that time to be together. Get another for the same day even. Maybe after a string of hearing the truth some of it might start to seep in. I would take that opportunity to be with my W. I would treat it like a date. A chance to show her how hard I was willing to work to make it work. Be there with her when she finds herself. BUT BEWARE! DR warns us that these sessions can be very dangerous at this point in your R. If you proceed into a session with your W and some "who knows who" you must have a plan for how you will act and what you will say in such free discussions. You must be able to stay on track and not be seduced by anger. That would cause backsliding. I, personally, would take those risks. The chance to attempt to communicate on potentially deep levels is one I would take.
Three hugs sounds really good. As does eye contact. So does the willingness to see another MC. I think it was a success. Haleluja.
Me 41 W 39 d7, s4 M 13 Bomb ILYBNILWY November 28th, 2007
it almost seems like since the C isent agreeing with her she has desided to pick up her ball and leave. the C and i had discussed this and the C stated she was worrued that my W wasent gdtting anything out of C right now anyway latley. the C told me her actions twords me are verbaly abusive and while the C gave my wife free reigh at the beginging of MC, she wasent going to let her sit there and be a marter.
should I find a new MC or tell my wife to? i did call the C to warn her and get her opinion
My h did the same thing, he loved our mc when she was making me take responsibility, yet when the finger pointing turned to him, all of a sudden he thought she was two-faced, and didn't want to go back.
Go find another counselor. Make sure you find one that is pro-marriage, and get a chance to explain to them why you've left your last c. That way, they can be more gentle with your wife in the beginning. BUT, to get any progress, she's going to have to look in the mirror with the counselor's guidance. Maybe hearing it again, she'll be more open to listen.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
