Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Maybe Last Thread in Separating, Found DB 2 Late

Good plan. (((CW)))

Good job CW. He needed to receive that latter. I am surprised that he said he feels venom for you. He's the one that left and wants a D and he has venom for you?

I guess thats typical WAS behaviour though. My H pins everything on me too.

Jen

Yep, I think he feels venom towards me because I actually yelled at him, raised my voice and said things he didn't like. I actually let my emotions get the best of me, which is a big no-no in H's mind.

I think you had every right in the world to yell at him. He's a big boy he can handle it.

jen

You continue to impress me with your resolve, CW. I know how hard it is though. We have such similar sitch's. My H is also torn up about breaking up our family, but not enough that he can avoid doing it. What is that???

We had a Mother's Day weirdness too. On Fri and Sat, the girls were asking me what I would want as a gift, etc, and I said I didn't need a gift, just them blah blah. They both get very excited about these holidays. H has been so cold to me that I worried he wouldn't get into it for their sakes, so I left him a message saying that I felt embarassed to be asking this, but I'd hoped he could muster up some enthusiasm for me on Mother's Day for the sake of his daughters' mother.

He was furious about that and I felt bad and awful. He used to spoil me on every little occasion.

Do your kids have friends with parents who are D? Mine don't, which makes the whole thing harder still.

CW - great letter. I am glad you yelled at him, maybe something will click in his head and heart... the letter was very appropriate as well.

I would also agree, typical WAS behaviour, nothing is really their fault, they just "fell out of love" grrrr.

CBK

I like the letter too, CW. It is all very true. Perhaps telling him the truth about himself will help him to see it. I hope so. But you can't count on it. People lie to themselves even more than they lie to others.

I need some advice. The lawyer with whom I'm meeting next Monday told me yesterday to get a snapshot of all our our accounts. I don't think I can get a snapshot of my H's 401k. I've gotten everything else. Do I let this one slip or do I request he get a copy of it? I don't particularly want to upset the apple cart anymore than necessary, but at the same time I don't want to be too trusting and screw myself down the line.

Does he have paper statements anywhere in the house? Online access?

If you can't figure out a way, I say let the L handle it. That is, let them ask him for copies of the statements, they can probably get it from his work which is more reliable than asking him anyways.

So long as the L knows it's out there, they can find it. If you could find out account numbers or anything that would be VERY helpful, but if not, the L can manage.

We don't get paper statements because he can just log in anytime and get it. I guess as much as I would like to be able to present everything to the L to say time/money, I'm going to have to let this roll.

thanks