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(Telepathic) Help Wanted, Part 2
Hardware Store | Atlanta, USA

Old Customer with Earhair: “Do you have fixative?”

Coworker 1: “I’m not aware of a product by that name. What do you want it to do?”

Earhair: “Get me someone else who knows the inventory!”

Coworker 2: “Sir, can I help you?”

Earhair: “Yeah, I want some fixative.”

Coworker 2: “We don’t have a product by that name, but if you describe it, we can get it for you.”

Earhair: “I buy fixative in here ALL THE TIME.”

Coworker 2: “What does the product look like?”

Earhair: “This is ridiculous. You should know your inventory well enough to READ MY MIND!”


(Telepathic) Help Wanted
Video Rental Store | Michigan, USA
Customer: “I’m looking for that movie.”

Me: “We have lots of movies, can I help narrow it down?”

Customer: “No, I want it full sized.”

Me: “I meant, what can you tell me about the movie?”

Customer: “Isn’t it YOUR job to tell ME about the movie?”

Me: “Well, I’ll tell you everything I know about the movie as soon as you tell me which movie you’re looking for.”

Customer: “If I knew which movie I was looking for, wouldn’t I have found it by now? Jeez, the people they hire these days.”

(Customer storms out)

Busy day at work?

Those are hilarious!

LOL I probably should be slipping in some prep work for class too...but they're too funny to stop reading!

Instructions Are Your Friends
Grocery Store | Bellingham, WA, USA
(Referring to the payment terminal)

Customer: “It’s not working. Whats wrong with it?”
Me: “What does it say?”
Customer: “It says, ‘Please slide card again’.”
Me: “Well, then slide your card again.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
(She slides her card. It works.)
Customer: “Hey it worked!”

I think I get at least one of those every shift! Lol.

Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife
Restaurant | Louisville, KY, USA
(I go to a table of four, a mom and dad and two kids who are ready to order.)

Husband: “How big are your pizzas?”

Me: “They are 10 inch pizzas, sir.”

Husband: “Well how big is 10 inches?

(And before I can answer, the wife chimes in.)

Wife: “You wouldn’t know anything about 10 inches, dear.”

(I stood there for a moment with my mouth open, before I ran to the wait station and started laughing hysterically.)

OK, I had to post this one!
Michelle, you have completely destroyed my afternoon!

Two Words, Both Rhyme With Celebrate
retail | Rohnert Park, CA
Me: “Anything else I can get for you today?”

Female Customer: “Oh yeah! I need batteries?”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “What do you need batteries for?”

Female Customer: “I just need batteries, ok?”

Me: “D Cells?”

Female Customer: “Yeah…”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “But really, what do you need batteries for?”

OH MY GODDDDDDDD

I have NEVER laughed so hard about something I read online!!!!!!!

thank you SO MUCH michelle, you totally lifted my PMA!!!!!

on another note, I am really sorry to hear about your grandpa. it's good that you'll be able to spend some time with your family this weekend.

14 days??!! then you are Finished??!!

(((M)))
T

14 class days. 2 weeks of Mon-Thurs, 1 week of Tues-Thurs (because of Memorial Day Holiday), then 1 week of Mon-Weds because of the Thurs being an optional review session for the final exam.

Final is on June 9th at 6 pm. Not that I'm counting or anything.

Thanks Jeff, I loved that one too!

I will have to check out that link. Pretty funny stuff that you posted! I should write down some of the stuff my students say to me. Here is one from the other day...

Book Fair week at the Elementary school

Student: When can I bring money for the book fair?

Me: The book fair is all week this week, so you can bring it in anytime this week.

Student: Okay, so when is the book fair?

Me: Right now. The books are set up in the gym.

Student: Oh, so when can we buy books?

Me: Any day this week. Your classroom teacher will take you down to the book fair or you can go during your lunch.

Student: So the book fair is next week?

(I shake my head and walk away)


I am sorry to hear about your Grandfather. The death of a Grandparent is so sad. It looks like my Grandma is going to need surgery. She is slowly getting worse and worse. Doh, I forgot to tell H about that when he called. Oh well.

LOL Sara. Thanks for sharing that. Kids do say the funniest things.

Sorry to hear about your Grandma. I hope the surgery goes well.