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wdid

I also like your list. I am going to use for myself if WW and I make it(when we make it, rather). Sounds like a list straight from her.

From what you say, H is trying his best. But he does need to learn and educate himself. Counseling, reading books, internet, and the Retro should help mucho.

Thanks, h4h. The more I read your everyday situations with your wife the more I see how she and I are so alike.

H emails me today saying that he has seen what is on my list and plans to do them from his heart, naturally. He also told me he will be there for me until the day he dies. I love this man.

Yes, he does need to do some more reading and educate himself so we never end up in this spot again and so that we are happy.

I had 2 calls to the house and the person didn't answer me when I said hello. I, of course, think it is the OM. Sighhhhhhh. I tried to *69 but the number was marked private or out of the area. Every day I'm reminded. Every day.

Please hang in there. We are all rooting for you and know that you are going to make it because you want to. I have an answering machine and caller ID, if I don't know the #/name, I wait to see if the machine picks up. People that I would want to talk to are going to leave a message. Maybe this would work for you too.
kat

Thanks so much, Kat. I do have an answering machine, too. But, someone called and hung up on there, too. I would be surprised if OM actually talked to me. I made it crystal clear that I would not contact him ever again no matter what. I honestly think he is calling to screw with my head.....let me know he is thinking about me...I didn't have to hold myself back like I have in the past. It was not as difficult as before. I know now that I will not break my "no contact" promise. But, the constant reminders are so hard. Even when I don't think of OM per se, some show comes on tv that refers to an affair, or someone says something to me about so and so and how they had an affair, or I say something to my child about how you should not lie.......I will forever be punished for what I've done and my H will constantly be reminded in the same type of ways.....

WDID - maybe that was my W calling you! I wish!!

If it is the OM, and if he is messing with your H, it should make it easier to keep on detaching, you have made your wishes clear to him.

Keep it up WDID - I am envious of your H!

CBK

You are going to have to assume that it is someone calling to sell you something, and ignore it. It would be a juvenile thing for OM to be doing. But either way it will stop if you don't respond.

Good morning whatdidido

YOU POSTED A SAD SONG ON MY THREAD SEE THIS ONE


At least your H has you with him, at least you are trying to make the M work, I see couples holding hands or kissing and that upsets me because I think of the love I had and lost, you two are at least trying, don't worry what other people say its between you, H and God.

W is moving out and there is nothing I can do but wave goodbye I cannot control her everyone says detach, I say help her pack, I'm confused, but thats understandable.

M45
W41
M10 years
D9, D6, D6, S5
OM confirmed 12/07 Merry christmas to me
PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? hoping !!! let me hope !!
WHAMMO - W moving out June 1st

I have those days as well. Seeing a couple, young or old, being loving to each other. Breaks my heart, but have to keep my composure.

wdid, your head messes with you more than anything, just as ours messes with us. Don't forget that you are in control and have a goal. This may read a little mean, but it is not intended to be. He is probably over you. Now you just have to get over yourself. If he was not married, he will move on easily. You have to worry about you. Keep thinking to yourself that he's over you. Now it is your turn to move on.

Release your guilt.

Blessings to you, wdid.

Jeff- I've never heard that poem/song. I'm a sucker for music. It gets me right to the heart.

I have to keep reminding myself that, like you said, at least I get the chance to make it work when others I see don't even get that chance.

I do feel forgiven by God. It will be harder to forgive myself I think.

h4h- you are right, I think too much and get myself all worked up. It is a good thing in that if I didn't think about stuff I would have left the marriage.....if I had gone with what I thought my "heart" was saying, I would have left a long time ago. You are also right that he is probably over me. That's what is so ridiculous, I know that and I still feel bad....it's like I want to fix it if that makes any sense. It's hard to not fix it.

Ok, after saying all that, let me say that today I feel pretty strong. I don't have the same hurt over OM that I had at the beginning so I am believing that I will eventually get over this. I had my doubts. I think I will always be reminded and it will always make me sad...but, the hurt will be different. I really had to hold myself back like crazy to not contact him before. It is not like that anymore. God help me if I run into him, though.

On to making my marriage the happiest one in the world! Today, what can I do to show love to my H?....something different.....I make him dinner, his favorites...he is used to that......hmmmm.....I think he is going to be getting my MOther's Day gift so we won't have a ton of time........I'm going to get him some beer.....he loves it, the good kind.....I'll surprise him with that. Also, when he comes in the door when he comes home I am going to go to him and give him a big hug. He has been the one coming to me. One day at a time. Little things make a big difference. Show loving feelings and the true feelings will follow.

Sounds like a great plan. What we would give to have that, again. You have no idea, wdid.

Day by day. One day at a time. Make it a little romantic, even if no romance planned.